Perfect Dad

Rob Stennett

Description

Great Dads Aren't Perfect...But They Aspire to Be Congratulations, you're hired! You have no qualifications, references, education, or experience, but you've definitely got the job. No occupation in the world operates like that...except parenthood. A father of four young girls, Rob Stennett is here to help you with some on-the-job training. With humor and thought-provoking honesty, Rob explores the 12 essential roles in your job description, including...ProviderManage the stress of balancing work and family by establishing clear priorities at home and in your career.PastorTeach the wonder of Scripture and how your kids can cultivate a faith in God they love and cherish.HusbandAlleviate the pressure of modeling a healthy relationship for your kids by focusing on your spouse's needs first.CounselorHelp your kids avoid emotional pitfalls by becoming their most trusted source of wisdom. You probably already know that becoming the perfect father is an unattainable goal, but that shouldn't stop you from trying your best to be a great dad. Your effort won't go unnoticed by your wife and kids. You can thrive in the most important job you've ever been given.

Informations

• Publié par: Harvest House Publishers, Inc.
• Date de parution: 31 janvier 2017
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780736962995
• Langue: English

Extrait

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version . Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Verses marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Cover by Bryce Williamson
Rob Stennett is represented by MacGregor Literary, Inc.
THE PERFECT DAD
Copyright 2017 Rob Stennett
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97402
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-6298-8 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-6299-5 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Stennett, Rob, 1977- author.
Title: The perfect dad: a totally achievable guide to not messing up your kids / Rob Stennett.
Description: Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, 2017. Description based on print version record and CIP data provided by publisher; resource not viewed.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016039355 (print) LCCN 2016027600 (ebook) ISBN 9780736962995 (ebook) ISBN 9780736962988 (softcover)
Subjects: LCSH: Fatherhood-Religious aspects-Christianity. BISAC: RELIGION / Christian Life / Men s Issues. RELIGION / Christian Life / Family.
Classification: LCC BV4529.17 (print) LCC BV4529.17 .S74 2017 (ebook) DDC 248.8/421-dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016039355
All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author s and publisher s rights is strictly prohibited.
Dedication
For
Julianna Emerson
Claire Austen
Abigail Harper
Emma-Jane Wilde
Acknowledgments
This book wouldn t exist without my dad. Obviously it literally wouldn t exist because without him I would never have been born and wouldn t be sitting in a coffee shop writing the book you are now reading. But he did more than decide to have son. He raised me, taught me about faith, loved me, and provided for me. He let me stumble into my own mistakes and then helped me find the courage to try again as I carved out a path for myself. I would be horrified if any of my kids ever decided to write a book about parenting, yet somehow Dad always just smiled and told me he was proud of me.
I want to say a heartfelt thank you to my agent, Chip McGregor, who believed I was a good enough dad to write this book. Thanks to the Harvest House team, especially Kathleen Kerr for her early developments and Gene Skinner for refining this book into something I m proud to have written.
And to every dad, mentor, and friend who took the time to talk with me and teach me and help me parent better, I can t thank you enough. Not only for how your advice shaped this book, but also for how your advice shaped the trajectory of our family.
I need to thank my beautiful wife and my loving kids for letting me pull up the blinds of our lives and proudly share our story with others. We re far from perfect, but we re proud of our story and how far we ve come. And if we (and by we I mostly mean me) mess up too badly, we know that tomorrow holds the promise to be better.
Contents
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Who Is This Book For?
The 12 Jobs of a Dad
1. Provider
2. Doctor
3. Caregiver
4. Pastor
5. Adventurer
6. Protector
7. Coach
8. Judge
9. Husband
10. Teacher
11. Counselor
12. Hero
The Perfect Dad?
Notes
More Great Books for Dads from Harvest House Publishers
About the Publisher
Who Is This Book For?
N ow that you ve picked up this book or clicked it open, you might want to know who it s for.
This book is for the expecting father.
It s for dads who want to laugh and learn and grow.
It s for the mom trying to figure out what makes her husband tick.
It s for the grandpas who want to encourage the next generation of awesome dads.
It s for the dads who have been at this a long time but still want to get better at the toughest job they ve ever been given.
It s for someone looking for a Father s Day present-and it has the word Dad in the title, so why not?
It s for anyone who wants to read a book about an average dad who struggles and pushes and fights and fails and gets back up and fights again until he starts to become the kind of dad he always wanted to be.
It s for the dad looking for answers about what to do when he is up at three a.m. holding his sick baby, or when he first hears about the story of a cyberbully attacking his daughter, or when his son feels crushed because he found out he didn t make the team. I hope you ll find some answers and guidance and encouragement here.
This book is for the dads who know they will never be perfect. But they re brave enough to try anyway.
The 12 Jobs of a Dad
W hen my daughter was nine months old, I was assigned the task of keeping her alive for three weeks. It seemed like a simple job: feed her a few times a day, change diapers as needed, and if I felt like a world-beater, I could bathe her every now and again. High school kids in home economics classes do parenting exercises like this all the time. It was nothing complicated-no EpiPens, insulin shots, inhalers, light boxes, or defibrillators-just practical, everyday parental tasks.
Sarah s friends acted like this was crazy. You re going to leave Rob with the baby for three weeks?
Yes.
All by himself?
Why wouldn t I? Sarah said. She almost never gives in to peer pressure. I really hope my daughters inherit this trait from their mother.
Because, you know he s a guy. And he s Rob , her friends said.
This will be a great bonding experience, she answered.
And she was right. For nearly a month, Sarah lived in Paris and finished her master s program while I stayed at home with our daughter. Right before she left I kissed her and said, Have fun. I m babysitting for the next three weeks. This is going to be such an adventure for us.
It s not babysitting.
What s not?
What you re doing, she said. It s not babysitting.
What is it?
It s called being a father.
Okay. Sure , I thought. But how is being a father really different from being a babysitter? This is the bar that s been set for all us dads: If we keep our kids alive, play some games with them, not give them too much junk food, somewhat limit TV time, and get them to bed before the stroke of midnight, that s a good day s work.
But I m sick of the bar being set so low. I don t want to be the B team when Mom is not available. I want to be an awesome, capable parent who is able to accomplish anything.
Then I look at myself in the mirror. I wonder if I actually have the wisdom and experience to train and parent our kids through every challenge they are going to face in the next 18 years. I am their only father. The last line of defense. When I look at the helpless reflection staring back at me, I realize my children deserve a better father than me.
When I tell other people this, they say, You re being too hard on yourself. You are a good father. Most people say this because I try to be a good dad. But trying isn t good enough. Not for my kids. The truth is I ve been given the most important job of my life, and I am horrifically unqualified for it.
This is different from every other significant opportunity I ve ever been given. Those opportunities involved hard work, training, and eventually earning the job. But this? The only prerequisite for the enormous responsibility of parenthood is having sex or adopting. No other opportunity on the planet works like this. It would be like eating a Nachos BellGrande and nine months later becoming the president of a bank because you did.
This is why we dads should be given a test before we re allowed to take our newborns home from the hospital. Something like a driving test or the SAT-only this test would assess our patience, quick thinking, judgment, and overall character. We would be tested on our ability to withstand peer pressure, bandage a wound, deal with late-night sickness, survive a road trip, pick friends, confront bullies, and deliver a perfect talk about the birds and the bees. This test should last for days or weeks or years, and only when we have proved ourselves should we be allowed to strap our infants safely into their car seats and drive them home.
But this isn t how it happens.
The only thing the hospital staff taught me how to do was swaddle my baby in a blanket. And as I m sitting among the other parents folding a tiny piece of cloth over my newborn, I m thinking, This is it? This is how we re spending our final moments in the hospital? What if my baby starts choking? What if she stops breathing in her crib? How long should a time-out last? When is the appropriate age to allow ear piercings? What if she asks for help with fractions and I have to admit I can only do math on a calculator?
I ve left the hospital with a newborn four times, and each time I found myself hoping I wouldn t mess up. I want be an amazing father. I want the other kids in the neighborhood to look at me and say, I wish he were my dad.
But how can I be a great father when I don t quite understand the job description? If any of us were applying for a job as a dad, what sort of qualifications would we need to have? I talked with other fathers about this and considered it myself. After conversations with friends and professionals, and quite a bit of research, I created a list of t