Summary of Dr. Carol Queen & Shar Rednour's The Sex & Pleasure Book

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Good Vibrations has always been a sex-positive, women-friendly store. Our founder, Joani Blank, had a master’s degree in public health, and knew that selling sex toys to women required an aesthetically pleasing and comfortable environment.
#2 Sex-positive means having a sex life that is right for you, with all the elements you need for it to be truly sex-positive: appropriate information and health services, understanding of and adherence to consent, healing from shame, and compatible partners.
#3 Gender and gender identity are important, but they are not the only ways we identify or experience certain elements of sexuality. We’ve tried to strike a balance between these two concepts throughout the book.

Sujets

• Sexuality
• Sexualité
• sexualité
• Sexualité

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 04 mars 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 1
• EAN13: 9781669349662
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Carol Queen PhD and Shar Rednour's The Sex Pleasure Book
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4 Insights from Chapter 5 Insights from Chapter 6 Insights from Chapter 7 Insights from Chapter 8 Insights from Chapter 9 Insights from Chapter 10 Insights from Chapter 11 Insights from Chapter 12 Insights from Chapter 13 Insights from Chapter 14 Insights from Chapter 15 Insights from Chapter 16 Insights from Chapter 17 Insights from Chapter 18 Insights from Chapter 19 Insights from Chapter 20 Insights from Chapter 21
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Good Vibrations has always been a sex-positive, women-friendly store. Our founder, Joani Blank, had a master’s degree in public health, and knew that selling sex toys to women required an aesthetically pleasing and comfortable environment.

#2

Sex-positive means having a sex life that is right for you, with all the elements you need for it to be truly sex-positive: appropriate information and health services, understanding of and adherence to consent, healing from shame, and compatible partners.

#3

Gender and gender identity are important, but they are not the only ways we identify or experience certain elements of sexuality. We’ve tried to strike a balance between these two concepts throughout the book.
Insights from Chapter 2

#1

There are many ways to learn about your sexuality. You can study up on sexual options, pay attention to your fantasies, and explore your body and its responses through masturbation.

#2

If you’re afraid to be sexual, you need to overcome that fear and shame and be the sexual person you want to be. We’re here to help you do that.

#3

There are many markers along the gender spectrum. Some would even argue that these markers are not straight lines but more like the many beams of light making up the variegated colors of a wide and curved rainbow.
Insights from Chapter 3

#1

There are many different types of sex, and people have different desires and responses when it comes to them. Some people enjoy kissing for hours on end, while others hate it. Some people are into BDSM, while others are not.

#2

There are many ways to be a sexual person, with a multitude of choices at various points. Some preferences and elements are seemingly set for life, but others may change or develop over time.

#3

Some people want their sex parts surgically or hormonally altered, while others don’t. And within the transgender community, there is a wide spectrum of sexuality and desires.

#4

The human body is capable of many kinds of erotic response and pathways to orgasm. When we think about normal sex, we are actually thinking of a small fraction of what’s possible. In our variety and sexual individuality, we are actually giving each other a lot of room to find the kind of pleasure that’s best for us.

#5

The media is a huge influence on how people view sex and sexuality. When media messages are anti-sex, homophobic, and/or overly gendered, it is usually because they are reflecting underlying cultural biases.
Insights from Chapter 4

#1

To overcome or resist fear and shame, we must first recognize that they are the cause of most sexual dysfunction in our society. Then we must learn about sex, and how to have good sex, not just sex that’s adequate-enough-to-continue-the-species-but-not-to-rock-my-world.

#2

Lovemaking opens up carefully guarded vulnerabilities. Indeed, the very joy of lovemaking comes from allowing frozen feelings and sensations to melt into volcanic bubblings.

#3

It’s possible to overcome fear and shame and their toxic effects, and you can do so by seeking out the community of others who have similar experiences or who have overcome similar problems.
Insights from Chapter 5

#1

Some people masturbate or have partnered sex to relieve stress, feel connected to their partner, or because they owe it to their partner.

#2

Remember that you are not alone in your struggle to have good sex. People who’ve had negative sexual experiences are still able to have positive ones.
Insights from Chapter 6

#1

It’s important to understand that you are a sexual individual, as you are an individual in all other ways. You may be like some other people, but you are not just like anyone else. This is the bottom line of erotic diversity, and it’s one of the reasons why communication is crucial when it comes to sex.

#2

When people who are bisexual first feel desire towards same-sex partners, they might think they’re gay or lesbian, and deal with coming out as such. They may adopt a gay identity and become active in the gay rights movement, but still feel sexual desire towards the opposite sex and act on those desires.

#3

The idea of opposites tends to reinforce social roles and suggest that some people can’t or shouldn’t do certain things because of their gender. This leads to restricted opportunities, shame, and bullying.

#4

When you’re too focused on belonging to a general group, like our misunderstood bisexual above, it’s easy to devalue or even ignore the many elements that make you who you are, and that make you happy.

#5

The sexual version of Know thyself is to fantasize about different types of people and situations, and to masturbate to understand your body’s reaction to those sensations. This is how many people discover their sexuality, and it means that when they meet another person, they can’t assume the same things float their boat.

#6

When you’re having sex with someone, you need to communicate your needs and boundaries. What do you want, and what are your boundaries. It’s important to be able to optimize your sex life if you don’t know what works and what doesn't.
Insights from Chapter 7

#1

Sex-positivity is not about having sex, loving sex, or being kinky. It is about understanding and accepting human sexuality as diverse and broad, and not judgmental or shaming others for their sexual choices.

#2

When you are sex-positive, you understand that you are not like everyone else, and that’s fine. You accept that everyone is different, and that is all good. As in: I am attracted to people who are like this, and others may be attracted to people who are like that.
Insights from Chapter 8

#1

Sexual terms are the building blocks of sexual communication, but not everyone is comfortable referring to body parts and sex acts out loud. You should be able to have at least one word you favor for each relevant body part you might want to discuss, and for the sex acts as well.

#2

If you’re nervous about using sexually-specific language in the presence of a partner, start by practicing. Find ways to incorporate these terms into conversations that are not sexually motivated or coded.

#3

The Yes, No, and Maybe columns are a tool to help you understand your own boundaries and desires when it comes to sex. Make the columns and list items that you know you want to do, and items that you know you don’t want to do.

#4

Taking responsibility for your own sexuality is important, as you are the most important person in your sex life. You can make the decision to pleasure yourself, and determine what your standards are when it comes to dating or hooking up.

#5

Turn-ons and pleasure are the result or culmination of desire. They require relaxation, which can be accomplished in a number of ways, from literal physical relaxation to not having to be on guard.

#6

There are three pieces to a safer sex lifestyle. The first is keeping up with sexual health information, just like you would with any other health issue. The second is making sure your sexual partners are tested for STIs, and honoring those who are monogamous. The third is not having more than one partner at a time.

#7

To have safer sex, you must communicate that you expect it. Some people are able to whip out condoms and other barriers without saying a word, because they have made it clear that the condom will be used, or no sex will be had.

#8

To successfully use barrier methods to avoid most STIs, you must get familiar and comfortable with condoms, lubricants, gloves, and dental dams or plastic wrap. You must also consider how most STIs are transmitted: through body fluids, skin rubbing against skin, and/or coming in contact with blood.

#9

Gloves, dams, and plastic wrap are all methods used to protect the genitals from STIs while having sex. Gloves are the most common safer sex gear, and they protect the hands from any STI organisms on the genitals.

#10

If you are going to be in a sexual relationship with someone, they should know everything relevant about you. This protects both of you from the drama of the Big Long-Overdue Reveal: she catches you wearing her panties, and he sees your browser history with all those visits to spanking sites and freaks out.

#11

If you are already known as the guy who’s into BDSM, the woman who likes variety in her sexual partners, or the one who counsels others about safer sex, all you have to do is confirm the rumors and add the relevant details to your personal sexual profile.

#12

Having safer sex is a skill that can be learned and improved upon. It is a fun skill to acquire, and you should feel proud of yourself if you feel like you’ve got it down. If not, tell them you’re still learning and want to practice with them.

#13

The San Francisco Model, which was originally developed to educate people on how to prevent the spread of AIDS, is still applicable today. It entails assuming that every person you meet and have sex with is HIV-positive, but still trying to protect yourself by not engaging in risky behaviors.

#14

The diversity of humans who have sex makes it difficult to provide a single message of safer sex. Not everyone is at risk of sexually transmitted infections, and not everyone should rece