The Sex Party Handbook

Ali Bushell

Description

An easy-to-follow reference manual filled with tips and helpful advice for anyone interested in either attending or hosting a future sex party.
The presence of group sex as a normal part of our sexual experience has been far more prevalent over the millennia than it has been forbidden and outlawed. Today, we are reclaiming our primal erotic desires in this area, trying new things, and creating and enjoying amazing group sex experiences.
In a comprehensive handbook, Ali Bushell relies on his experience as a therapist, podcaster, and creator of sex parties to answer common questions about sex parties, groups, and orgies; provide an insider’s glimpse into these passionate soirees; share methods to recruit enthusiastic guests, and offer ways to make each party a success. Included are introspective questions that encourage party hosts to clearly identify what they want in a party, tips for first-time guests, real-life insights from party participants, ways to stay safe and avoid sexual risk, and the dos and don’ts of a good event.
The Sex Party Handbook is an easy-to-follow reference manual filled with tips and helpful advice for anyone interested in either attending or hosting a future sex party.

Sujets

• Party (canción)
• Sexuality
• Health
• Orgy
• Party
• Sex
• Fitness

Informations

• Publié par: AuthorHouse UK
• Date de parution: 29 novembre 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 3
• EAN13: 9781728376660
• Langue: English

Extrait

THE SEX PART Y HANDBOOK
Your Ultimate Guide to the World of Orgies, Sex Clubs and More (and How to Host Your Own)
 
 
 
 
ALI BUSHELL
 
 
 
 
 
 
AuthorHouse™ UK
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403 USA
www.authorhouse.co.uk
Phone: UK TFN: 0800 0148641 (Toll Free inside the UK)              UK Local: (02) 0369 56322 ([phone] from outside the UK)
 
 
 
 
© 2022 Ali Bushell. All rights reserved.
 
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
 
Published by AuthorHouse  07/27/2023
 
ISBN: 978-1-7283-7667-7 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-7283-7666-0 (e)
 
 
 
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
CONTENTS
Preface
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Chapter 1     Getting Started with Your Party: The Right Mindset
Chapter 2     Sex Parties: The 101 and a Bit of History
Chapter 3     Deciding to Go to Your First Group Sex Event as a Guest
Chapter 4     What Is Your Sex Party?
Chapter 5     The Bare Essentials: What You Need to Get the Party Going
Chapter 6     “My Sex Party Needs You!” How to Recruit Guests
Chapter 7     Drawing People to Your Party: The Bait (Things That Will Make Your Party More Interesting to Potential Guests)
Chapter 8     Communication with Your Network: How to Communicate Easily and without Drama
Chapter 9     Getting Your First Party Off the Ground
Chapter 10   The Principles of Making the Party a Success:
Chapter 11   The Responsible Party Host: STIs, Safety, and Aftercare
Chapter 12   Building on Your Success, Branching out, Getting Bigger
Chapter 13   Retiring and Possibly Passing on the Torch
Chapter 14   A Pep Talk to Get You Started
Glossary of Terms
PREFACE
When I started writing this book five years ago, I didn’t think it would take me long to complete. I’d already been running sex parties for three years, I’d been to plenty run by other people, and I knew how to be a good organiser generally from my time working in public administration. Initially I had set myself a target of a thousand words a day and just keep going until it’s done; surely just a few months of work, right?
It turns out that writing on a topic like this was going to be much harder than I’d imagined, and this was primarily because I realised partway through what it was I was writing, which was a technical guide to organising gay sex parties (the only ones I’d interacted with at this point). I had to pause and reflect; is this what I wanted to write? This seemed a bit two dimensional and not really giving the wider topic of group sex proper justice. Whilst it was somewhat painful to have to make the realisation that what I was writing wasn’t good enough for what I wanted it gave me an opportunity to rethink.
So, what exactly was I writing? When I really thought about it, I wanted it to be something that would be interesting to read for its own sake, not just something relevant to people who want to set up sex parties. I wanted this to include experiences other than mine, and that meant talking to straight and bi people of different genders. I set out to research the topic through people in my network and was extremely fortunate to have access to some fantastic individuals who really helped my process through our interviews.
Finally, weaving it all together, I realised there was a story to tell here, not just about group sex as a concept, but also about what it means for us as humans and how it has fit into our society as well. The presence of group sex as a normal part of our sexual experience as a species has been far more prevalent over the millennia—stretching back from the hunter-gatherer past and up to the present day—than it has been as something forbidden and outlawed. Seeing the desire to have sex in a group as something wrong, shameful, perverted, or even unnecessary are all extremely modern concepts. If anything, this perspective, not group sex, is abnormal.
I am glad we seem to be living in a time where we’re reclaiming our primal erotic desires in this area, becoming more open to what we have done for so much of our history as a way to bond and share joy together. I hope this book can be a contribution to this change—starting conversations between people, helping fire people’s imagination, helping people decide to try things they may not have before, and giving people the tools to create and enjoy amazing group sex experiences. If all this book is to you is an interesting insight into the topic, then I’m glad it has done this for you. But my true hope is that it can serve as a doorway to a new world you may not have known existed or maybe even believed was closed to you (spoilers, it’s not).
Whatever you want this book for, please enjoy it. And do send thoughts, comments, and feedback to me at [e-mail] as part of my process of creating new editions in the future. If you don’t see your experience or identity in this book enough and want it addressed more, or you have something to say about how I’ve written about parts of this topic, then do get in touch! The more people who do that, the better future editions will be.
Until then—happy group fucking!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I never used to read the acknowledgement section of books until I started to write this one. Until you’ve started the process of writing something yourself, you don’t think much about what it takes to go through it, the people you need to support you as you go. This book is no different, even though I may be calling on some different people than usual.
First, I’d like to thank my friend Nastja, who was serving as my editor for much of the book’s development. Without her help, encouragement, and challenge, I doubt this book would ever have been written—just another project for tomorrow, rather than something I could actually see as realisable. Second, I’d like to thank my partner, Markus, for his ongoing support both of the writing of this work but also of my parties in general. Without our home as a venue to host and him giving me the life that I have, I wouldn’t have any parties to talk about.
I’d also like to thank all the fantastic guys who have been part of those events; you’re all amazing, and I really mean it when I say I wouldn’t have anything without you.
Another thank you to the author Dr David Ley, whose book The Myth of Sex Addiction helped inspire me to join the movement of sex-positive mental health practitioners and believe my book had something meaningful to say. I was privileged to meet David in person when I visited the states once, and I interviewed him for my podcast too. Without his book, I don’t think I would have written mine.
I’d like to thank my research subjects, Matt and Jane, Trixie and Gabriel, for giving me their time and perspectives on understanding the kind of sex parties I don’t go to and making this work a lot more rounded than it would have been if I’d just relied on my own viewpoint.
A special thank you to my therapist Alessio—without you, I wouldn’t be the happy and joyful person who would have believed in themselves to make this book happen. I owe you so much and will always be grateful for what you have done for me in healing my past and making my life the amazing place it is now.
Finally, I’d like to thank my mother for making me into the kind of person who would create a successful sex party as I have, be willing to talk and write about it, and generally just be the person I am. Wherever you are in the universe, I’m glad I got to have you as the person who shaped me. I was lucky.
INTRODUCTION
What Are Sex Parties? And Why Would I Want to Organise One?
So, what, exactly, is a sex party? Is it the same thing as an orgy? What about a sex group? Swinging? Does anyone go to things like the party depicted in the film Eyes Wide Shut ?
This book can’t serve as a useful guide to sex parties and running them unless these questions are actually addressed. And hopefully doing so will also give you context for a subject you may not have any idea about. You also don’t have to actually want to go to a sex party for this book to be useful to you. I hope it can be a how-to guide in the way it is intended for those who are interested in the practicalities of sex parties, but if all it does is satisfy some curiosity in you about something you’ve never done before, then that’s also fine. Maybe it even makes what currently seems like a strange and scary idea become something more understandable, more tangible, something you could imagine yourself attending someday (or even hosting).
I want this guide to be interesting, useful, and ideally a way of removing some of the secrecy and shame around something many people do, all days of the week, all around the world.
But why write a whole book about this? Is there really that much to say? Well, sex parties are like anything; they can be done brilliantly, they can be done terribly, and all shades in between. Such an event requires a level of vulnerability. I would hope that anyone throwing a sex party wants to aim for it being on the good side of average, great even! Because when it’s bad, it can be really bad.
An exa