When Your Child Is Grieving

Amy Ford

Description

To Heal Your Child's Broken Heart, Start with Hope How can you help your child get through a deeply painful lossthe breakup of a family, the death of a pet, or even the passing of a loved oneespecially when you might be dealing with your own grief? God sees your family's pain and longs to walk through it with you. It's one of the reasons He sent His Son, Jesusto heal our broken hearts. Most important, God wants to give your child hope. Dr. Amy Ford is a licensed professional counselor, professor, and parent who specializes in complex psychological issues, including trauma and grief. She offers spiritual encouragement from God's Word and expert advice to address your child's specific needs. You will gain the wisdom, skills, and practical ideas you need to help your child during this difficult time. Grieving can be a long and difficult process, especially for children, but with God's help and the loving support of friends and family, grief can give way to new life. Your child will get through thisand so will you.

Informations

• Publié par: Harvest House Publishers
• Date de parution: 02 juillet 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780736975964
• Langue: English

Extrait

Endorsements
When Your Child Is Grieving provides a helpful balance-recognizing the strength found in our faith while using tools from the mental health community to address this difficult subject. Amy Ford s encouragement, insights, and practical advice give the tools you need to help a child cope with loss. I highly recommend this much-needed resource.
Darlene Brock
author of Raising Great Girls and cohost of This Grit and Grace Life Podcast
As a pastor, mother of three, and professional counselor, I found this book to be an oasis in a desert place. When Your Child Is Grieving vividly illustrates the devastating darkness of grief in a child s life and shines the light of God s remarkable power to bring hope and healing. This book is a compassionate and strategic guide for parents of grieving children.
Sandra Stubbs
licensed professional counselor and senior pastor
Dr. Amy Ford has written a book that is both a practical guide to supporting children in grief and a source of inspiration and hope for parents and caregivers. Her words drip with grace and encouragement as she draws from her clinical knowledge and personal experience. I highly recommend this guide for any educator who daily works to support children experiencing grief and loss.
Heidi Brown
elementary school principal
As a director of a nonprofit benefiting orphans, foster children, and children impacted by family separation, I see firsthand how the burden of grief can traumatize children. When Your Child Is Grieving is a relatable, heartfelt resource for caregivers of grieving children. It introduces scientific child-development principles for trauma-informed healing and provides practical guidance and applications to empower those experiencing grief at a young age. The helpful summaries of key points, specific parenting skills, and activities for caregivers to practice with children will promote conversation, growth, and hope. When Your Child Is Grieving is an essential tool for caregivers of grieving children and for young adults who experienced grief at a young age.
Tammy Teske
director of programs, SPOON Foundation
With compassion and kindness, Amy Ford provides the tools parents need to minister effectively to their grieving, brokenhearted children and to provide the comfort, security, and healing those kids need. I was touched by the way Dr. Ford lays a foundation of grace and spiritual guidance for parents who must nurture their children through times of loss. She also provides a clinically sound approach to applying the wisdom you need. You may even discover some gaps in your own childhood development that have followed you into adulthood. Finding hope for more healing in your own life will greatly enhance your ability to help the child you love so dearly.
Tim Ravan
president, Global Connectors
HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Verses marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Verses marked ESV are from The ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version ), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Italicized emphasis in Scripture quotations is added by the author.
Cover design, illustration, and hand lettering by Connie Gabbert Design + Illustration
Cover photo NikolaVukojevic / iStock
This book includes stories in which people s names and some details of their situations have been changed.
When Your Child Is Grieving
Copyright 2019 by Amy E. Ford, PhD
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97408
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-7595-7 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-7596-4 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Ford, Amy E., author.
Title: When your child is grieving / Amy E. Ford.
Description: Eugene, Oregon : Harvest House Publishers, [2019] | Includes bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018061346 (print) | LCCN 2019001560 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736975964 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736975957 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Grief in children-Religious aspects-Christianity.
Classification: LCC BV4906 (ebook) | LCC BV4906 .F67 2019 (print) | DDC 248.8/66-dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018061346
All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author s and publisher s rights is strictly prohibited.
Dedication
To children who walk this life with
hollow eyes and broken hearts-children who have
sat at my dining room table, in my classrooms,
and in my counseling office.
I see you, and God sees you too.
Joy and abundance are promised for you.
Acknowledgments
Always first, I acknowledge Jesus Christ, my Savior and Healer. Thanks to you, God, for your words. May you ever be glorified.
To my family, forever my best gift. Thank you for your love and support.
Jesse Kratz and Hannah Adams, thank you for your research assistance. Both of you women are stellar counselors and scholars, and every day you are helping children and families with your compassion and empathy.
To all the people at Harvest House Publishers who helped envision, develop, edit, and otherwise put together this book-I am so very grateful. Heather Green, Hope Lyda, Gene Skinner, and all the rest-copyeditors, cover designers, editors, marketing and sales staff, support staff, and prayer warriors-this project would not have happened without you. You are an amazing team, and I m so grateful to have you. Thank you for investing in a new author.
To the precious children who shared their hearts through the illustrations in this book, thank you.
Leif Ford and Ev Denniston, two godly men and caring pastors, thank you for your theological guidance.
Contents

Endorsements

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Begin with the Most Important Thing

1. Provisions for the Journey

2. When You re Grieving Too

3. Rest, Breathe, Connect

4. Speaking the Unspeakable

5. The Really Big Feelings

6. The Crazies

7. It s So Messed Up (When Your Teen Is Grieving)

8. Saying Goodbye to Someone Special

9. Blessed Are Those Who Mourn

10. Remembering

11. The Loss of a Parent

12. The Death or Disability of a Sibling

13. The Loss of a Family

14. When to Get Professional Help

15. Let the Little Children Come

16. Great Will Be Your Children s Peace

The Next Step

16 Special Skills for Parenting Grieving Children

Answers to Tough Theological Questions About Death and Loss

Notes

About the Author

About the Publisher
Art by Annika, age 9
Begin with the Most Important Thing

G OD said, My presence will go with you. I ll see the journey to the end.

E XODUS 33:14 MSG
W hen grief enters your home and touches your child, it is you, the parent or guardian, who bears the primary responsibility of helping that child. You can feel lost and alone in the journey for many reasons.
Sometimes it isn t obvious that grief is the root of a change in a child.
We often associate grief with death, yet any situation of loss can initiate grief in a child-the altering of a family through divorce, a long-term disability or impairment of a family member, a missing pet, moving away from a cherished friend, or growing up in foster care.
Children grieve differently.
You may sense that grief is in the heart of your child, but you might not understand the way it is echoing throughout their life and actions. Some children grieve quietly. They go to school, softball practice, and church, doing what they re supposed to do without anyone ever seeing their broken hearts. Other children grieve loudly. Their grief triggers actions that get noticed and possibly mislabeled as ADHD, oppositional defiance, rebellion, or other unwanted behavior.
We have a hard time talking about grief.
We don t know what to say or how to say it, so we don t say anything at all. And our children continue to grieve. When the thought of writing this book first crossed my mind and planted a seed in my heart, I must admit that my own discomfort about how to approach you and your child s pain held me back. I care deeply. I am a mental health professional, a pastor s wife, and a teacher of counselors-caring for others is what I do every day. Still, I wasn t sure how to enter this conversation with you.
Resources are difficult to find.
Parents and mentors of grieving children don t know where to turn. Soon after the possibility of this book started to grow in my heart, I was preparing a counseling class on crisis, trauma, and grief, and I couldn t find any good sources for helping grieving children. I was at a loss on how to train my counseling students in this area. And that was a problem because counselors encounter so many grieving children at school and in their therapy offices. It became clear that if good resources for counselors are hard to find, then even fewer good resources are available for parents-especially Christian parents.
Knowing that parents watch with sadness and uncertainty as their children strug