Riding the Samoosa Express

Hasina Asvat, Zaheera Jina

Description

Riding the Samosa Express is a collection of life stories exploring issues of marriage, love, loss, family life, culture, religious beliefs, suburban life, local and international politics, freedom and education among other important issues faced by professional and well-educated Muslim women who have not been held back by global stereotypes.

Sujets

• Autobiography
• Biography

Informations

• Publié par: Modjaji Books
• Date de parution: 23 avril 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781920590949
• Langue: English

Extrait

First published by Modjaji Books (Pty) Ltd 2014
PO Box 385, Athlone, 7760, Cape Town, South Africa
www.modjajibooks.co.za
Copyright © 2015
ISBN 978-1-920590-32-1
e-book ISBN 978-1-920590-94-9
All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including photocopying and recording, or any other information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the publisher.
Book and cover design by Megan Ross
Cover artwork by Carla Kreuser
Printed and bound by Megadigital, Cape Town
Set in Garamond
Dedicated with love to all the Muslim women who shared their stories.
PART ONE
The road towards marriage
Education and Izzat! Farhana Ismail
Exiting limbo Anonymous
Mrs Independent Quraisha Dawood
Only He as my Creator is the best of all planners! Sumaya Kola
My ideal partner Sumayya Mehtar
Run, samoosa, run Anonymous
My Samoosa Express to finding my soul mate Fatima Adam
Hope, love, faith Bibi-Aisha Wadvalla
PART TWO
Identity
Surrounded by women of strength Rehana Moosajee
The creation of complex me Nabeelah Patel
About ME Salma Mangera
Reflections Yasmin Patel
Only "Oomi!" Zaheera Jina
Domination versus submission Anonymous
Veils from the past Anonymous
Against all odds Zayboon Motala
"Not a suitable career for a young Muslim girl" Jasmine Khan
My journey into spiritual awakening Tazmin Mahomed
From the depths of my soul Saffiya Ismail
PART THREE
Marriage and beyond
The tale of two sorrows Zakiyyah Asmall
The road to the kitchen less travelled Somayya Hansrod
MahabbaLillah, my child Adeela Kasoojee
To Mummy, with love Shireen Sabodien
Out of the fish tank… and into the pond Nadia Cassim
"Pull yourself together!" – battling depression in pregnancy Mymoena Arnold
Motherly instinct Naseema Moolla
Divorce was not an option Anonymous
INTRODUCTION
It all started with a simple conversation about the exchange of photographs. My cousin, Shameema, was single and the prospective "Mr Right" had asked to see a photograph of her before taking the quest further. When I asked her for a photograph to send to him she refused, saying that she would first like to see his photograph and curriculum vitae and that she would make the final decision about whether to meet him. Her response did not fit in with my frame of reference. I did not agree with the practice of sending around photographs, but, to me, the road to meeting "Mr Right" was still about the traditional idea of men making the first request, not the other way around. I believe in the notion of the "samoosa run", or "samoosa express to marriage", which are the terms used to describe the meeting when eligible Muslim men go alone or with family members to see prospective wives at their homes. Shameema is a chartered accountant and partner at the firm where she works. At thirty she is content in her own shell and definitely does not need marriage to make her feel complete. Our short conversation got me thinking about social and religious expectations and, of course, about the identity of the professional Muslim woman.
I was single for many years and during this time had many visits from different "Mr Eligibles" and their families. I also became a teacher and worked for a while. I then embarked on postgraduate studies and chose a career in academia. Most weekends were spent in entertaining the prospective husbands-to-be who came from far and wide but, to them, I was always "too educated" or "too tall". Eventually, I met my husband through an arrangement between my niece and my sister-in-law.
Being single did not make my life feel complete. I yearned to be a wife, housewife and mother. I was willing to give up working towards a PhD for the gift of marriage. I saw the goal of obtaining a PhD as an occupation that could fill my lonely days as a single woman. I was brought up in a home where my mother gave up her profession in nursing to look after me and my siblings when we were young children. She then studied towards teaching, and worked as a preschool teacher when we were at school. For my mother, at the time, giving up her nursing profession was expected of her as a Muslim mother and wife. My father certainly expected nothing less. As a woman from a later generation, I have been entrusted with the choice to complete my studies after marrying and while raising a family. However, in making the choice, I am often plagued with uncertainty about who I truly am – a modern, PhD Mum; or a traditional, homely wife. While pondering on my own, personal identity, I considered the lives of others and, after discussing the idea with a friend, I decided to compile an anthology of narratives written by professional or well-educated Muslim women
I had anecdotal evidence about the difficulty of being a professional Muslim woman as South Africa’s history changed. I had witnessed how friends and family members struggled to maintain professions and juggle family life, but I wanted to know more about their life journeys. My experience reminded me that Islam as a religious system did not encourage women to study or to pursue their professions. Many Muslim men, even today, do not want professional or career-driven wives. Under the laws of apartheid, in the 1960s and 1970s Indians were only allowed entrance to teaching or nursing. Muslim parents during those decades adhered to the belief that their female children should learn only how to perform skills like cooking and sewing. The conditions and trends have changed since then, with many Muslim women fulfilling their dreams in every profession possible.
The global ideology that prevails around the subject of Muslim women has been shaped by a description of them as voiceless, silent and oppressed. Other views have positioned Muslim women as either religious or secular and have ignored the complexity of their experiences (Davids, 2003). In South Africa, however, Muslim women have been able to participate in secular education and employment opportunities and to practise their religion within the privilege of a democracy that is open to issues of gender. In 2008, Sader concluded a study called The Identity of Muslim Women in South Africa: Married Couples’ Perspectives which provides insight into the identity construction of South African Muslim women of Indian descent who are married, educated and working in post-apartheid South Africa. Sader showed that these women prioritised an Islamic identity and were able to construct an alternative identity which allowed them the freedom to access secular spaces, or what may be viewed as the public sphere of men. Other South African research concerning Muslim women includes aims to develop an understanding of attitudes, beliefs and practices of Muslim women within South African communities in relation to marriage, sexuality and gender (Shaikh, 1996; Shaikh, 2002).
This book is not a research project and it does not make any points or arguments in relation to Muslim women. It is a collection of life-stories. I wanted to find out about the achievements and accomplishments Muslim women have managed. I needed to know how others were juggling their lives and daily routines to make their dreams a reality. The call for stories encouraged contributors to explore issues of love, loss, family life, culture, religious beliefs, suburban life, local and international politics, freedom, and education, among other important issues. I wanted the contributors to find themselves in their stories; I wanted them to write honest descriptions of who they are as Muslim women, their journeys to self-discovery or their questions about their identities. I believe that there’s a stark essence in every woman’s own story, written from her soul. I received an overwhelming response to the call for submissions, and I was both awed and humbled by the many stories received.
The collection begins with the story that sets the scene around the concept of marriage in the context of religion and culture, Farhana Ismail’s "Education and Izzat! " and from there – together with Hasina Asvat, my sister-in-law and partner in editing – I tried to compile a selection of stories that best represents a full range of experiences. The submissions that I received reflect a central focus of marriage. Marriage defines the status of a Muslim woman through societal expectations and religious beliefs. Marriage forms the apex of the lives of many Muslim women because of their Islamic obligation to it. It is believed by Muslims that Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, "When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half." The stories that make up this compilation give breath to these philosophies through thoughts and understandings from women who are in agreement and those who question.
Muslim women need to be heard and our stories need to be told. This book aims to be a testimony of our journey.
I’ve arranged the stories in this book into three parts. Part One, "The road towards marriage", includes stories of finding (or not) a marriage partner in the light of religious beliefs and cultural and societal expectations. Part Two, "Identity", tells stories of women trying to find themselves, in religion, or as working women, or in the home. And Part Three, "Marriage and beyond", features stories from contributors of their lives when married and in trying to deal with the ups and downs of life. Stories include the experiences of