Saving Eric

Mary Burns

Description

Mary's nightmare began when her seven-year-old adopted son inexplicably screamed before dinner one night. From that point on, her son's struggle became her struggle. Mental and physical illness, along with drug addiction, turned her life upside down. The love Mary had for her son, though, never waned as she desperately tried to save him from his demons. "Wonderfully written and moving. I can't recommend this book enough to any family who shares the experience of adoption or a struggle with a child's unpredictable, often violent mental health, along with the journey alongside an addiction."* -- Annie Highwater, "Unhooked" "A meaningful exploration of mental illness and addiction - two present-day tragedies."* -- Charles Rubin, "Don't Let Your Kids Kill You"

Sujets

• Lettres et linguistique

Informations

• Publié par: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Date de parution: 04 mai 2020
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781645751007
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Saving Eric
A Mother’s Journey Through Her Son’s Addiction
Mary Burns
Austin Macauley Publishers
2020-05-04
Saving Eric About The Author Dedication Copyright Information © Acknowledgments Author’s Note Prologue June 2009 1. Just Amazing 1990–1997 2. Screaming 1997 3. Adoption Talk 1998–1999 4. Scary Thoughts 1999–2003 5. Torment Summer 2003 6. “Safe Spot” Early 2004 7. Escalation Fall 2004–Spring 2005 8. Silent Strength Summer 2005 9. A Black Eye Fall 2006 10. More Often, Peace Fall 2006–Spring 2007 11. Another Diagnosis Spring 2007 12. Graduating High School June 2007 13. The New Eric Fall 2007 14. Ground Rules Fall 2007 15. Light at the End of the Tunnel 2008 16. “I Need Help” Summer 2009 17. A November Storm Fall 2009 18. Texas November 2009 19. Back Home December 2009–January 2010 20. Beautiful Boy March 2010 21. Florida Spring 2010 22. Never Look Back August 2010 23. Connecticut March 2011 24. You Can’t Come Home May–June 2011 25. Life Is Good Summer 2011 26. Making Amends September 2011 27. A Beautiful Day October 2011 28. He’s Home November–December 2011 29. A Christmas Visit December 2011 30. Moving Out January 2012 31. Surprise February 2012 32. Shock February 17, 2012 33. The Candle February 2012 34. A Rainbow March 2012 35. Dreaming August 2012 36. Woman at the Window August 2012 37. A Tree Is Planted Fall 2012–Winter 2013 Epilogue Fighting the Old Lady Afterword Appendix in Eric’s Own Words
About The Author
Mary Burns is a mother of three, a teacher, and has become involved in addiction advocacy since her son’s death. She helped spearhead a walk called ‘Changing the Face of Addiction,’ to help change the stigma of addiction. She has also brought her advocacy to her local state senator and addressed the New Jersey Senate Budget Appropriations Committee about the need for a change to the addiction treatment protocol.
She was honored as an Advocacy Leader in 2017 by the New Jersey chapter of the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my son, Eric, who always wanted to write a book about his struggle.
Copyright Information ©
Mary Burns (2020)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
This is a work of creative nonfiction. The events are portrayed to the best of author’s memory. While all the stories in this book are true, some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.
Ordering Information:
Quantity sales: special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address below.
Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication data
Burns, Mary
Saving Eric
ISBN 9781645750987 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781645750994 (Hardback)
ISBN 9781645751007(ePub e-book)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2020904749
www.austinmacauley.com/us
First Published (2020)
Austin Macauley Publishers LLC
40 Wall Street, 28th Floor
New York, NY 10005
USA
[e-mail]
[phone]
Acknowledgments
I want to thank the many people who encouraged me to move forward with this book. This includes my friend, Sandy, who read my first manuscript and insisted that my story should be told. I also want to thank my mother, who read all of my manuscripts many times and encouraged me to have this story published.
I want to thank the Montclair Write Group, who welcomed me and advised me on how to improve my writing. I want to thank my editor, Lorraine Ash, who believed in this project and in me.
Last but not least, I want to thank my children, Jessica and Matthew, for supporting my decision to publish this story.
Author’s Note
I focused this narrative on my son’s, Eric’s, battle with addiction and how he and I fought that struggle together. In consideration of my husband’s feelings, I included family members only in certain parts. From the beginning, however, we all lived the story together.
Prologue

June 2009
As soon as Eric signed into the emergency room, the triage nurse took us into her office. Eric leaned forward, gripping his stomach, and answering questions.
In no time, he was in a bed, all one hundred seventy-five pounds of him, doubled over and turning from side to side to get comfortable.
“Before we admit him into detox,” a nurse said, “We need to rule out any other possible causes for his pain.”
A phlebotomist drew Eric’s blood. As he left, a doctor asked questions.
“What do you take?” he asked.
“OxyContin,” Eric replied.
“How much?”
“Half a pill.”
“How many?”
“Two.”
“A day?”
“Yeah,” he paused, “Or three.”
Sitting quietly, I listened, his every answer, paining me.
OxyContin? An opioid. My nineteen-year-old son is addicted to drugs. How did this happen? He’s such a smart kid. What is he thinking?
I wiped my eyes. He partied. He made bad decisions. I knew that. I’d tried talking to him.
“Stop doing drugs,” I told him, “Stop partying every night.” But I never got far before he argued and, most of the time, spun himself into a rage.
I was concerned but I’d grown up in the seventies and knew many kids who smoked pot. Most turned out just fine. I thought smoking pot was a phase. I thought Eric would get over it.
I looked at my son, lying on the bed, writhing in pain, and clenching his jaw.
As the doctor asked more questions, the whirring in my mind subsided.
“We’re not sure your insurance company will approve admitting him into the detox unit,” he said.
The nurse must have seen the confusion on my face.
“His drug habit may not be bad enough,” she explained.
“What do you mean? How can his drug habit not be bad enough?” I asked, “I thought you were addicted to a substance or not addicted to a substance. How could Eric not be addicted badly enough?”
When the blood work results arrived near midnight, the doctor concluded Eric’s pain was due to drug withdrawal.
The next step: calling the insurance company.
Eric was visibly worse. He tossed and turned and moaned.
“We’re almost certain the insurance company will not approve his admittance into the detox unit,” said a second nurse, “You can wait, if you like or leave. The insurance company should have a final decision in a few hours.”
Eric clutched his stomach, his eyes glowing in anger.
“What?” he yelled.
“We’ll leave the decision up to you,” the nurse told him.
He looked at me.
“Mom, what should I do?”
“I don’t know, Eric. I was expecting you would be admitted. I don’t know what to tell you.”
I didn’t want to waste a few hours, if the hospital wasn’t going to admit him, but what would we do, if we left?
“It’s up to you, Eric,” I said.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said.
He’d taken a brave step. He’d admitted he had a problem. He asked for help, but the hospital, equipped to detox people, wouldn’t admit him.
I helped him off the bed. We walked out, Eric walking slowly. As we passed the security station, he spit at the window. A gob of phlegm slid down the glass.
“Eric, no! Stop it!” I yelled, “What are you doing?”
The next day I stayed home from work, thinking I could, somehow, help my son detox. I had absolutely no idea about drug withdrawal or how painful and potentially dangerous it could be.
The two of us stayed in the family room. He lay on the couch, tossing and turning. I sat on the chair next to the couch, watching him, and holding his hand from time to time.
I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I opened the phone book and looked under ‘Drug Abuse & Addiction Information & Treatment.’
Over the years, my son had faced so many challenges. I’d helped him through a lot. That morning, for the first time, we were locked in a battle larger than both of us. I prayed that my love would be able to save him.
1. Just Amazing

1990–1997
I first laid eyes on my beautiful boy at JFK Airport at 9 a.m. January 9, 1990.
A snowstorm had delayed Korean Air Flight 206. My husband and I waited three hours for its arrival with our daughter, Jessica, who’d also been born in South Korea. She found a balloon in the airport that read ‘Welcome’ and held it patiently.
We’d been told that Eric weighed only five pounds at birth. So, when the guardians wheeled in two baby boys in gray strollers, I went straight to the smaller one. But I was wrong. He was the bigger one wearing a light blue fleece outfit with white lambs.
The guardians told us the babies had been changed. I tried to feed Eric, so he wouldn’t cry on the way home, but he didn’t take a bottle.
We buckled him into the back seat of our car next to Jessica. Excited, I sat in front and could hardly wait until we stopped at my mother-in-law’s house on the way home, just to show him off. Since she lives with my sister-in-law, Eric also met his three cousins, who came downstairs to see him.
While I changed his diaper, all of them bent over him, talking and trying to get him to smile. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law held him. He didn’t fuss.
Just like that, Eric was part of our family.
As he grew, his brilliance impressed us. We only had to tell him something once, maybe twice, and he remembered it.
As a toddler, he sat in front of the television, rocking to videos with songs such as ‘Old MacDonald Had a Farm.’
We also admired his imagination, during his preschool years. He loved his pretend kitchen. He gathered all his VELCRO® food and set up elaborate dinners and lunch spreads on the cement hearth by the fireplace. Once he was done cooking, he and I pretende