Marriage in Free Society

Edward Carpenter

Description

British philosopher and activist Edward Carpenter was decades ahead of his time when it came to sensitive subjects like gender relations, equal rights, and acceptance of a broad range of sexual proclivities. In this thought-provoking series of essays, Carpenter addresses the issue of marriage and what an ideal version of it would look like in a utopian society from which oppression and persecution had been eliminated.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie

Informations

• Publié par: The Floating Press
• Date de parution: 01 juin 2014
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781776538836
• Langue: English

Extrait

MARRIAGE IN FREE SOCIETY
* * *
EDWARD CARPENTER
 
*
Marriage in Free Society First published in 1894 Epub ISBN 978-1-77653-883-6 Also available: PDF ISBN 978-1-77653-884-3 © 2014 The Floating Press and its licensors. All rights reserved. While every effort has been used to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information contained in The Floating Press edition of this book, The Floating Press does not assume liability or responsibility for any errors or omissions in this book. The Floating Press does not accept responsibility for loss suffered as a result of reliance upon the accuracy or currency of information contained in this book. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Many suitcases look alike. Visit www.thefloatingpress.com
Contents
*
Marriage in Free Society Endnotes
Marriage in Free Society
*
OF the great mystery of human Love, and that most intimate personalrelation of two souls to each other—perhaps the firmest, most basicand indissoluble fact (after our own existence) that we know; ofthat strange sense—often, perhaps generally, instantaneous—of longprecedent familiarity and kinship, that deep reliance on and acceptationof another in his or her entirety; of the tremendous strength of thechain which thus at times will bind two hearts in lifelong dedicationand devotion, persuading and indeed not seldom compelling the personsconcerned to the sacrifice of some of the other elements of their livesand characters; and, withal, of a certain inscrutable veiledness fromeach other which so frequently accompanies the relation of theopposite sexes, and which forms at once the abiding charm, and thepain—sometimes the tragedy—of their union; of this palpitating wingedliving thing, which one may perhaps call the real Marriage—I would saybut little; for indeed it is only fitting or possible to speak of it byindirect language and suggestion, nor may one venture to rudely drag itfrom its sanctuary into the light of the common gaze.
Compared with this, the actual marriage, in its squalid perversity aswe too often have occasion of knowing it, is as the wretched idol of thesavage to the reality which it is supposed to represent; and one seemsto hear the Aristophanic laughter of the gods as they contemplate man'slittle clay image of the Heavenly Love—which, cracked in the fire ofdaily life, he is fain to bind together with rusty hoops of law, andparchment bands, lest it should crumble and fall to pieces altogether.
The whole subject, wide as life itself—as Heaven and Hell—eludesanything like adequate treatment, and we need make no apology fornarrowing down our considerations here to just a few practicalpoints; and if we cannot navigate upward into the very heart of thematter—namely, into the causes which make some people love each otherwith a true and perfect love, and others unite in obedience to but acounterfeit passion—yet we may fairly, I imagine, and with profit,study some of the conditions which give to actual marriage its presentform, or which in the future are likely to provide real affection with amore satisfactory expression than it has as a rule to-day.
Yet the subject, even so limited, is one on which it is extremelydifficult to get a calm audience. Marriage customs (however much theymay differ from race to race) are at any one time and among any one folkremarkably tenacious, being sanctioned by almost a violence of publicopinion; and as in the case of theology or politics, their merediscussion is liable to infuriate people—perhaps from the very factthat the subject is so complex and so deeply rooted in personal feeling.Nevertheless—since alterations have to take place in these as in othercustoms, and since, as many things indicate, we are moving towards adistinct period of change in matters matrimonial—it would seem that themore rationally we can survey these questions beforehand, the better.
It will probably be felt that certain present difficulties in themarriage-relation are not merely casual or local, but are deeplyintertwined with a long series of historical causes, which have led upto that exaggerated differentiation, and consequent misunderstanding,between the sexes, of which we have spoken in a former paper. [1] Behindthe relation of any individual man and woman to each other stands thehistorical age-evolved relation of the two sexes generally, spreadinground and enclosing the former on all sides, and creating the socialenvironment from which the individuals can hardly escape. Two youngpeople in the present day may come together, but their relation isalready largely determined by causes over which they have no control.
As a rule they know but little of each other; society has kept the twosexes apart; the boy and the girl have been brought up along differentlines; they hardly understand each other's nature; their mentalinterests and occupations are different; and as they grow up theirworldly interests and advantage are seen to be different, often opposed;public opinion separates their spheres and their rights and theirduties, and their honor and their dishonor [2] very sharply from eachother. The subject of sex is a sealed book to the girl; to the youthit is possibly a book whose most dismal page has been opened first; ineither case with its very mention is probably connected a painful andirrational sense of wickedness.
In this state of confusion of mind, of mutual misunderstanding, andoften of suffering, the Sex-glamor suddenly descends upon the twoindividuals and drives them into each other's arms. It envelopes in agracious and misty halo all their differences and misapprehensions. Theymarry without misgiving; and their hearts overflow with gratitude tothe white-surpliced old gentleman who reads the service over them. It isonly at a later hour, and with calmer thought, that they realise thatit is a life-sentence which he has so suavely passed upon them—notreducible (as in the case of ordinary convicts) even to a term of 20years.
The married life, in so strange and casual a way begun, or driftedinto, is hardly, one might think, likely to turn out well. Sometimes, ofcourse, it does; but in many cases, perhaps the majority, there followsa painful awakening.