Change and Conflict in Your Congregation (Even If You Hate Both)

Anita L. Bradshaw

Description

A warmhearted guidebook to help your church navigate change and channel conflict into a stronger sense of mission and community. Lay leaders, pastors and church staff will be empowered by creative, practical strategies to establish appropriate congregational behavior, offer nonanxious leadership and foster community discussion and discernment.

Sujets

• Religion
• Christianisme
• Philosophie et théologie
• Christian theology
• Leadership

Informations

• Publié par: Turner Publishing Company
• Date de parution: 03 mars 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781594735950
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Praise for Change and Conflict in Your Congregation (Even If You Hate Both)
Prepares congregational leaders with the faithful courage required for today s church.
- Rev. David Schoen , minister and team leader, Congregational Assessment, Support and Advancement, United Church of Christ
Visionary and engaging ways to navigate ... change and conflict. This accessible, practical, intelligent, disarmingly honest book will be one I reach for often.
- Rev. Dr. Lucy A. Forster-Smith , author, College & University Chaplaincy in the 21st Century: A Multifaith Look at the Practice of Ministry on Campuses across America
Brings calm clarity to the turbulent topic of conflict that congregations struggle with.... A welcome and hopeful message.
- Rev. Laurie Miller Vischer , associate pastor, Westminster Presbyterian Church, Portland, Oregon
With spiritual sensitivity, affection and respect for congregational life ... offers important approaches to change and conflict that are resourceful, creatively imaginative and life-giving. Goes beyond a how-to to become a compelling read.
- Rev. Dr. Barbara T. Cheney , missional pastor, St. James Episcopal Church, New Haven, Connecticut
Faithful, honest and hopeful.... A well-written, deeply informed source of solid advice based on hard-won experience, a gift to anyone who shares her love for communities of faith.
- Rev. LeDayne McLeese Polaski , executive director, Bautistas por la Paz (Baptist Peace Fellowship)
I wish my church would read this book. Immediately. Twice. And no churchgoer needs to read it more than I do.... A calm, plainspoken, practical guide.
- John Backman , author, Why Can t We Talk? Christian Wisdom on Dialogue as a Habit of the Heart
Where was this book when I started out in ministry?... More than a self-help book for congregations to navigate through their challenges-this is a theologically based, vision-centered approach to transform leadership toward gospel service.
- David Haas , liturgical composer; director, Emmaus Center for Music, Prayer and Ministry; campus minister, Cretin-Derham Hall, St. Paul, Minnesota; director, Music Ministry Alive!
Provides pathways for reconciliation that are universal. Bradshaw s years of experience with conflict management in congregations were comforting and strengthening; I felt I was in good hands.
- Rev. Meg Riley , senior minister, Church of the Larger Fellowship (UU), Boston
Anita Bradshaw has done it! As a thoroughly engaging storyteller, she s written an amazingly accessible guide for your congregation s pilgrimage through inevitable change and conflict.
- Rev. Dr. Gary M. Simpson , Northwestern Lutheran Theological Seminary Chair in Theology, Luther Seminary


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Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
1. Is This Normal?
Accepting Change and Conflict in the Church
2. What Are We So Afraid Of?
Using Scripture, History, and Theology to Reframe Our Perspective
3. Why Is Change So Difficult?
Understanding and Managing the Process of Transformation
4. How Can Conflict Be Positive?
Strategies for Working with and Thriving Through Disagreements
5. Why Do We Love Extremes?
Developing Imagination and Managing Polarities
6. What Is Our Story?
Discovering and Changing the Way We See Ourselves
Benediction
Notes
Suggested Resources
About the Author
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Acknowledgments
I owe a great deal of thanks to many people and congregations I have known and served over the years. I offer thanks to: All of the congregations I have served and worked with. You have taught me much and I hope only that what I gave in return was a blessing to you. My teachers and mentors: Margaret Farley, the late Letty Russell, Mary Hess, Gary Simpson, Richard Blackburn, Patrick Keifert, Pat Taylor Ellison, and the consultants and staff at Church Innovations Institute. What I have learned from all these individuals is reflected throughout the book and in my work. David Haas, for cajoling me many years ago to write. Many colleagues and friends who have taught me much and encouraged me: Cameron Trimble and Michael Piazza of the Center for Progressive Renewal, David Schoen, and Sarah Campbell. My online writing group and coach from Academic Writing Club: MLC, mtrex, and KarenR. Without these three women, this book would probably still be languishing in the recesses of my brain. My Visions Group : Jen, Doug, Joan, Chris, and Liz, as well as Tom. You have cheered me on in so many ways to realize this dream and vision for my life. The late Rev. Dr. Don Hadfield, who believed in me and always encouraged me to keep going. My editor, Emily Wichland, who sought me out and suggested this book. You have been kind, patient, and encouraging, and I hope we work together for many years. And finally, to Sherrie, my rock and my love. You make all worthwhile.
Introduction
The first three congregations I belonged to after seminary, either as a member or on staff, were all in extreme conflict. I wondered at one point if this was any reflection on me. I decided it was not-but it was hard not to take it personally, especially when people made it personal and some of that ugliness got directed toward me.
My skin is thicker now, but my gut still can get into a mighty uproar when people in the church get nasty. I suppose it is naiveté on my part, but I still expect Christians to act . . . well, like Christians. I grew up singing that folk hymn They Will Know We Are Christians by Our Love. And frankly, there are days that love is not in evidence. Love has been often missing in our congregations, and we wonder why the world is not interested in joining us.
I also know a great deal more now than I did those many years ago when I was caught in the turmoil and chaos of those first three congregations. But when I reflect back on my experiences, I am surprised I didn t make more mistakes and, in some ways, surprised that I am still in ministry. I want to offer encouragement and guidance to you in the hopes that you can avoid some of my mistakes and will have tools to deal with the situations you face.
Each congregation s conflict was unique, and yet they shared many characteristics. The conflicts were rooted in pastoral misconduct, a pastor s alcoholism, a small group of old guard members bullying and holding the congregation hostage, and a tiny circle of people working to undermine the pastors. The behaviors exhibited were fairly common in congregational conflict: a divide-and-conquer strategy; bullying; secret meetings; petitions meant to split the congregation; a few speaking for many (as in, lots of us think ); dissemination of false information, rumors, and innuendo; and a host of other less than Christian behaviors. I wouldn t say I saw it all in those years after seminary, but I saw a lot of the ugly underside of church. Such stuff is not for the faint of heart.
Charting Our Way Through Conflict and Change
This book is a result of what I learned in those churches-and in many others since in my ministry as a pastor, consultant, and denominational leader. I finally figured out that although heart-rending conflict was the state of the church or many churches, it didn t have to be so. It is possible to be church in a way that doesn t involve ugliness, even if it involves conflict.
The church is always going to see conflict, especially when things change-and things are always changing, internally and externally, for the church. And if many congregations in the mainline Protestant denominations are going to survive, much less thrive, those churches are going to need to change a lot to move into a new day.
Change is something that tends to happen in congregations. There are things that happen that we cannot anticipate. Yet many changes could be planned and intentionally implemented, if leaders really wanted to do so. Why are the processes of change and conflict in congregations often resisted, ignored, or treated as if they are totally abnormal?
Conflicts are an opportunity for the community of faith to grow deeper into the reality that the church is called to be a reconciling community. In this book I hope to provide you with some practical methods of conflict resolution and change management to facilitate such growth.
The first chapter focuses on the reasons conflict and change are unwelcome in churches. Congregational leaders need to understand these reasons in order to address them, resolve conflict, and bring about necessary changes to move beyond conflict and re-engage with the mission of the church. Church leaders and members generally see conflict itself as a negative in the church, instead of recognizing that the problem is the bad behaviors that result from conflict. Conflict can be managed, but it often isn t. The most common reaction to conflict is to try to ignore it and hope and pray it goes away. But it never does. I