Comedian's Guide to Theology

Thor Ramsey

Description

Thor Ramsey (known as the Jon Stewart of the theological world) defends the essentials of the Christian faith in this volume of comedy for the thinking person. Armed with only a laptop and a rapier wit, he defends the inspiration of the Bible ("all Scripture is inspired by God"--in other words, when you tell someone off, quote the Bible), the doctrine of total depravity (calling someone out for their sins is a tricky business, especially if you don't know how to operate a bullhorn), and the supremacy of Christ (or why Thor's God is bigger than your god), along with a host of other essential doctrines of the Christian faith.Packed with funny stories and hard-hitting truths, this comprehensive collection of biblical insights and personal anecdotes will surprise readers, destroy their misconceptions, and leave them wanting more. For readers looking alternatives to the conversation of traditional faith, or those who have a taste for fearless (and hilarious) honesty, A Comedian's Guide to Theology will permanently change how we all look at Christianity--or at least offer a good-hearted shove out of the box (or back in the box, if that's where you need to be).

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie
• Christian theology
• Humour

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 03 mars 2008
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441225603
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

© 2008 Thor Ramsey
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
Revell edition published 2014
ISBN 978-1-4412-2560-3
Previously published by Regal Books
Ebook edition originally created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version® . Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Other version used is NASB— Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
If this thing doesn’t sell, this may be my one and only chance, so … I’d like to dedicate this book to Dinika and Eden. I love you both. Officially and in print.
Contents
Preface #1
Preface #2
(Because Postmoderns Need Their Choices)
Chapter 1
Theology: “The Sexual Life of a Nun”
Chapter 2
The Bible Is More Than Just a Place to Stash Your Drugs
(The Theology of “This I Know”)
Chapter 3
This Chapter Is Presented to …
(The Theology of Inspiration vs. Perspiration)
Chapter 4
The Reality of God and the Problem of Self-Addressed Stamped Envelopes
(The Doctrine of Doubt and How It May or May Not Help You)
Chapter 5
God Is Not Your Spouse
(What God Is Like … Kind Of)
Chapter 6
The Beginning of Narcissism
(Theology of Why Mean People Suck)
Chapter 7
My God Is Bigger Than Your god
(and Now for Something Really Offensive)
Chapter 8
How to Acquire a Death Threat
(The Bill Maher Theological Approach)
Chapter 9
Damn Theology
(Why Hell Is a Good Idea)
Chapter 10
A New Kind of Hell
(Brimstone and Punchlines)
Chapter 11
So Full of Grace, We’re Full of …
(Divorce and Outreach Poker Night, an Overview)
Chapter 12
In Defense of Uptight
(Calming Your Fears About Fundamentalist Christians)
Chapter 13
Everybody Likes Jesus
(Christology, Which Is Christ with -ology Added to His Name)
Chapter 14
Apocalypse Later
(The End Times Comedy Show)
Acknowledgments
About the Author
PREFACE # 1
If you care about Truth at all, then you should buy this book, because the truth is, I need the money. Even if you don’t care about Truth, then buy this book if you care about kids, because I have a lovely seven-year-old daughter who will one day need braces. I’m sorry to pose a moral dilemma if you happen to be browsing at the bookstore, but if you put this book down now you’re basically turning your back on a child.
The importance of Truth is obvious, because it is capitalized. Presently, there is a crisis of Truth within the evangelical Church. People keep saying that we are on a journey to a new era, the postmodern era. Well, wake me up when we get there. It’s not that I don’t care about postmodernism, it’s just that I have to take Dramamine on long trips, and it makes me drowsy.
The idea of Truth is being assaulted from many different angles. Allow me to illustrate the problem, since I have a laptop and am writing a book. When I was a child, my sister once said to me, “Mom said to clean your room.” I told her, “I believe you’re misquoting my mother.” Whenever someone says something you don’t like, just claim they’re being misquoted. This guy named Bart Ehrman wrote a book titled Misquoting Jesus because, apparently, Jesus told him to clean his room. Bart is a former youth group member who now makes a living weakening the faith of believers and their pets. (I can only assume that the pets inherit the faith of their guardians.) He’s a former evangelical,a lapsed insider now attacking the faith from without. I just think he’s an enlarged apostate, which I believe means that he has to go to the bathroom a lot.
I also read a book by Sam Harris, an atheist who more than resembles Ben Stiller. His book is called The End of Faith , which basically says, “Muslims want to blow people up because of their holy book, the Koran. Christianity and Judaism have a holy book too, so they shouldn’t be let off the hook just because they haven’t killed anyone in the last thousand years. You should embrace rationalism and treat other people nice because … well, the Golden Rule is a good thing.” Sam tells me to abandon my faith, and all he has for me at the end is the Golden Rule? Buddy, that’s already ours. So, really, I’m right back where I started.
Sam is trying to attack the faith, but mostly he just makes journalists feel better about being anti-religious. (My apologies to journalists who aren’t anti-religious, but unfortunately for you, comedy works best with sweeping generalities.)
It’s the assault on Truth from within the Church that currently concerns me. (Yes, I’m out to save the essentials of Christianity. You can thank me later.) You see, in case you’ve forgotten from four paragraphs ago, we’re entering the postmodern era, which means bellbottoms are really out of style. Or not. The thing is, you can’t say with any certainty that bellbottoms are out of style, because the very nature of Truth is being questioned … unless the truth happens to be how much you have to pay for the bellbottoms. Then Truth is pretty absolute. Even at these outlet malls, the cashiers don’t seem to be embracing postmodernism.
It is often said that it doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you’re sincere. My mother-in-law believes that I’m an idiot. Well, okay, sometimes you can be sincere and right. But my point is, what if she had been wrong? You see? Sometimes sincerity doesn’t change the Truth.
Lots of people, myself included, believe that Truth is an unchanging reality that doesn’t alter whether you do or don’t like it or agree with it. If a comedian isn’t funny, the emcee will go up after his set and ask the crowd, “Well, did you at least like his shoes?” That’s the traditional view of Truth. It corresponds with reality.
There is another view of truth within the Church now, and it’s not capitalized. That shows you how serious things have become. The new view of truth espoused by many prominent writers, thinkers and pastors is that we are trapped in the language of our particular cultures. Thus communication between various people groups becomes difficult because we all have ways of saying things that are particular to our group. The question is, If words aren’t reliable, then why should we listen to anything these people have to say? Now, I don’t want to bore you with a heady and scholarly argument against this idea of being trapped inside language, so let me just give you the gist of the counterargument: That’s stupid. There. That pretty much sums it up. Did you understand me? You did? That’s because we’re not trapped inside of language.
Some of these Christian leaders are part of a young movement in evangelicalism called the emerging church , which I will explain below. Now, I consider myself part of the emerging church, but I’m emerging more along the lines of people like John Burke, though he is much nicer than I am; Shane Claiborne, minus the influence of male pattern baldness; and Mark Driscoll, without his tenacious Calvinism—all people that I will not explain below. But I’m probably only part of the emerging church because I cannot bring myself to wear a tie. (If you’re wearing a tie and you tell someone you’re a Christian, they think you’re Mormon.)
Here’s the part where I explain below. (It means beneath or lower.)
Okay, if you’re not familiar with the emerging church, just ask anyone who considers himself (or herself) part of the movement and that person will explain it to you in around a billion words. They don’t want to be boxed in, so they define it until you either kill them or kill yourself, which can really put a damper on emerging. Generally, emerging Christians can be found wherever there is a group of disgruntled white guys. Rather than biblical exposition, most emerging Christians prefer blended coffee. Proponents of the emerging church shy away from dogma and such ideas as proclaiming Christ as exclusive Lord and Savior, which is really encouraging to the Persecuted Church around the world where Christians are still being killed for their faith. The emerging church also practices loving tolerance, especially if you throw around buzzwords like “generous,” “missional,” “relational,” “authentic,” “narrative” and “conversation.” When participating in an emerging church service, avoid throwing around words like “heresy,” which they are less tolerant of.
The Emergent Church movement seeks to appeal to postmodern people by denying most biblical truth. Okay, that was exaggerating the problem, so let me state it this way: The emerging church seeks to appeal to postmodern people by denying lots of biblical truth. There. That’s more accurate. Members of the emerging church want to bridge the divide between conservative evangelicals and mainline denominations, because mainline churches still have potlucks. And who doesn’t like a good casserole?
Much of the emerging church has to do with appealing to young people who don’t like to be told what to do in the first place, not that grandma’s a pushover. So, this idea that Truth is fuzzy is really appealing to them.
No matter how culturally relevant we become, there are still things that people will hate about Christianity. If we lose the things that really get people’s goat, then what fun is there in practicing our religion? Historic Christianity is in a dangerous place when we lose the ability to upset people