Family Shaped by Grace

Gary Morland

Description

As a teenager, Gary Morland lived in an unhappy, dysfunctional family characterized by addiction and disharmony. When he started a family of his own, he brought with him those same destructive patterns. Yet he sensed there must be a way to have a family shaped by acceptance and grace, a family that was loving, whole, and at peace with one another. The problem was, he didn't know how.In this life-giving book, Morland shares his journey of discovering the timeless tools of family peace that transformed him and his family. He shows how these tools broke the unhealthy patterns of the family he grew up in and saved his relationship with his wife and two daughters. With refreshing honesty and humility, he helps readers believe that they too can start from where they are right now--no matter how broken--to transform their family culture and their family legacy and to generously offer grace to the people who matter most in their lives.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 06 juin 2017
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781493407309
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2017 by Gary Morland
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2017
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-0730-9
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2011
Scripture quotations labeled NASB are from the New American Standard Bible®, copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. ( www.Lockman.org )
Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Published in association with the literary agency of The Fedd Agency, Inc., P.O. Box 341973, Austin, TX 78734.
Endorsements
Gary Morland is a gifted communicator who has learned many lessons the hard way. He grew up in a dysfunctional family and went down that road himself, bottoming out as a confused alcoholic with a wife, two daughters, and no idea how to change. God transformed Gary’s life through his grace and the practical advice of wise mentors. Those lessons are passed along in this powerful and insightful book.
John Fuller, cohost of Focus on the Family
We have all sat through a million sermons about grace, read books and sung songs about grace, yet many of us live our lives as if we’ve never heard the word. A Family Shaped by Grace is a powerful testimony of God’s goodness and grace. Gary gives incredible insight into the supernatural peacefulness God has available for every family. His practical guidance will give you the tools you need to lead your family into peace with both confidence and excellence.
Jimmy Myers, PhD, LPC-S, author of Fearless Parenting: Raising a Faithful Child in a Secular Culture
I’m thankful for a voice like Gary Morland speaking into our generation about family and grace and how God can make all things new. This book is an excellent read and will be an inspiration to many.
Annie F. Downs, bestselling author of Looking for Lovely and Let’ s All Be Brave
There are elders who speak with the authority of hard-won wisdom. Gary Morland is just such an elder. In A Family Shaped by Grace , Morland shares tools for crafting the kind of family we all want with family members who love well, serve well, and work together toward something eternal. Pick up a copy, and learn the art of family-craft from your elder; you’ll find Morland’s experience colors him with the patina of something very trustworthy.
Seth Haines, author of Coming Clean: A Story of Faith
Dedication
Brenda—I wish it hadn’t taken so long to realize how easy and sweet it is to love you.
Myquillyn and Emily—Every single day of my life is better because God made you daughters to me and sisters to each other.
Chad and John—I wish every dad with daughters could have the peace I get from you being husbands to mine.
Tracy—Remember that time I beat you in ping-pong, left-handed, while holding a kid? I know sometimes you forget.
Alyson—“I love you and I’m glad you’re my sister.” Yes, visit.
Harold—Every day your voice comes out of me.
Epigraph
Family is a verb. Family is not just what we are, it’s something that we keep on actively making.
Ann Voskamp
Contents
Cover 1
Title Page 3
Copyright Page 4
Endorsements 5
Dedication 7
Epigraph 8
Foreword by Myquillyn Smith and Emily Freeman 11
Yes, You Can Get There from Here 14
Part 1: Your River 19
1. My Wife’s Husband: If Our River Can Change, So Can Yours 21
2. The River of Family: Your Role Is Bigger Than You Think 37
Helpful Bonuses for You 47
3. Rollin’ Down Your River: Where You Are Now, What You Want, and What It Can Look Like 48
4. The Rocky River: The Everyday Tactics of Family Disharmony 61
Part 2: The Momentum-Gathering River 71
5. The Peaceful River: The Timeless Tools of Family Peace 73
6. Contagious Momentum: Our Families Are Designed for Good to Spread 87
7. Get Your Peace Right: The Peace That Transcends All Understanding 99
8. Accept Your Family, Your Role, and Your Limits: It Begins with You 113
9. Be Patient, Curious, and Attentive: Be the Caring Gift They Long For 125
10. Be God’s Access: You’re God’s Hidden Treasure in Your Family 138
11. Model What You Want to See: Show What It Looks Like 152
12. Release Your Family, Your Role, and the Results into God’s Hands: He Wants More for Your Family Than You Do 164
Part 3: Your Family River 173
13. Drops of Grace into Your River: Find Ways to Be Your Family’s Biggest Fan 175
14. One Big Step in Your Most Challenging Family Relationship: Charting Your Course 189
15. Dock of the Bay: Resting in Your Legacy of Grace 206
Acknowledgments 215
Notes 218
About the Author 221
Back Ads 223
Back Cover 236
Foreword
We always knew Dad had a book in him; we just figured one of us would have to write it for him. We weren’t sure he would be able to consolidate all his notes in one place. Dad has been taking notes on God and life and family for the past twenty-eight years, filling up stacks of lined yellow legal pads and four-by-six index cards, then his iPhone notes app, now this book. This is a bigger deal than you can possibly know for two reasons.
First, Dad never learned to type with his fingers in the correct typing position, so this whole manuscript was pecked out with two index fingers and a whole lot of heart.
Second, Dad wasn’t a believer for most of our childhood. He didn’t even go to church for show or out of duty. Instead, he stayed home every Sunday morning, drank beer, and listened to Bruce Springsteen records. We still remember the morning he reenacted the concert version of Born in the USA for us in the living room, a rare Sunday when Mom went to church without us girls. He dimmed the lights, cranked the stereo, and lip-synched the whole thing, complete with white T-shirt and red hat in his back pocket.
But life with Dad when we were little wasn’t always so lighthearted. Most of our childhood memories involve an alcoholic father who was there but not fully present, alive but not fully awake. Until one day Dad stopped drinking, and awhile after that, he told us he accepted Jesus. That’s when the story gets interesting.
This book is about what happened next, about how a man who never had a proper role model of a healthy family life learned to be a husband and father so that we could never say we didn’t have a proper role model of a healthy family life.
As his daughters, we have had a front-row seat to the difference God makes in the life of a person. We finally got to see the man Dad was always meant to be.
This unlikely story of grace and forgiveness will help cast a hopeful vision for you if you’re desperate for some accessible encouragement and practical advice. Dad’s gentle instruction will be a kind companion for you in the midst of your own difficult family relationships.
It’s a rare kind of gift when your dad writes a book because you get to see him as a person and not just a dad. He talks about Mom as his best friend, but not the kind of friends who get airbrushed T-shirts made with each other’s faces on them. It’s the kind of friendship that when he says something semi-dumb and Mom rolls her eyes at him, he laughs instead of getting defensive. Meanwhile all the grandkids are watching how they act and are taking notes on how to be an adult.
Dad is a man who is often out of the loop when we get together with Mom because he can’t keep up with all our talking and laughing, but he loves to be in the room anyway.
He’s a Poppy who co-plans Grandy Camp with Mom every summer for all six of their grandkids, complete with opening and closing ceremonies.
He’s an introvert who loves people and a chronic encourager who always chooses hope, even in the darkness.
Most of all, Dad is a believer who knows his sufficiency rests in the person of Jesus Christ, and his life reflects that truth.
He loves well, with lots of grace and curiosity, and his philosophy of family is both simple and oddly profound. We’re proof—we all truly like each other and when we fight, we always make up.
So that’s who you’re settling down with as you read this book. Our dad, a man we’ve known and loved and laughed with (and at) all of our lives. You’re going to love him too. We’re giddy that we get to share him with you.
Myquillyn and Emily, Gary and Brenda’s girls
P.S. In this book you’ll meet a man named Harold. We remember him as a wise friend of Dad’s who had a gentle disposition and always wore a green sport coat. We always knew Harold helped shape our family’s dynamics as Dad’s mentor, and we feel as if we should set aside one special day a year to wear green jackets in his honor. Thank you, Harold.
P.P.S. If you wish you had a Harold in your own life but don’t, we’re quite sure Dad can fill in for Harold for you in this book. Green jacket optional.
Yes, You Can Get There from Here
You and I are at Panera. I get the Pick 2 with a Frontega Chicken Panini, tomato soup, and chips, and you get the broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl. I ta