Forged in Fire

Robert Charles Graber

Description

The true story of the fears, rejections, and hardships faced by a Mennonite boy and his family living in a central Kansas religious community.

When Robert Graber entered the world into a Mennonite farm family, he was the boy his mother dreamed of having. However, his father never seemed excited about the arrival of a new son. Little Robert had no idea that his father’s reaction was only the beginning of what would become more than four decades of ill treatment—not just to him, but also to his mother and sister as they bravely faced hardships, fears, and rejection while living within their small, central Kansas religious community.

In a vivid retelling, Graber chronicles his personal experiences while growing up within a Mennonite family as his mother dedicated her life to raising her children to love the Lord—at the same time his father and religious community seemed unwilling to provide the same love and support. While detailing his loss of trust in those who should have been trusted, Graber shares insight into the physical and mental abuse he and his mother and sister endured, describes the events that led to their fears of losing their lives, and reveals how he eventually transformed into an advocate for young people.

Forged in Fire is the true story of the fears, rejections, and hardships faced by a Mennonite boy and his family living in a Kansas religious community.

Sujets

• Religion
• Christianisme
• Christian Living
• Inspirational
• Philosophie et théologie
• Choices
• Determination
• Forge (disambiguation)
• Adversity
• Rejection
• Secrecy
• Mennonite
• Secret
• Mennonitisme

Informations

• Publié par: WestBow Press
• Date de parution: 21 novembre 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781664257825
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Forged In Fire
The Secret Life Of A Mennonite Family
Robert Charles Graber


Copyright © 2022 Robert Charles Graber.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.
 
 
WestBow Press
A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.westbowpress.com
844-714-3454
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
 
ISBN: 978-1-6642-5783-2 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-5784-9 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-5782-5 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022902864
 
 
 
WestBow Press rev. date: 08/04/2022
CONTENTS
Introduction
 
Chapter 1 Swiss-Volhynian History
Chapter 2 The Beginning of It All
Chapter 3 The Early Years
Chapter 4 The Primary Times
Chapter 5 Living with Abuse
Chapter 6 Country Living
Chapter 7 Double-Dealing
Chapter 8 The Extended Family
Chapter 9 The Secondary Years
Chapter 10 Alternative Service
Chapter 11 The College Years
Chapter 12 Left Alone
Chapter 13 The Deception Exposed
Chapter 14 Life after Graduation
Chapter 15 Other Fires to Face
Chapter 16 The Choices We Make
Chapter 17 Professional Tips, Hints, and Pointers
Chapter 18 What’s Important

To eleven very important people in my life.
First, to the memory of my mother, whose guidance, sacrifice, and example were crucial for me during my growing-up years.
To my sister, who supported me in this effort and always believed that I could do anything I put my mind to. Her support and contributions were momentous.
To my loving wife, who has been my marriage partner for over fifty years and supported me in publishing this account of my life.
To my loving children and grandchildren, who have made me proud to be called their father and grandfather, and who I am confident will make this world a better place to live in.
I wrote this book for all of you.
INTRODUCTION
This book is the true story of a young boy growing up in a small, cliquish religious community, who experienced rejection and hardships. This is a true account of the events and adversity this boy’s family faced. This unusual narrative explains the loss of trust in those who should have been able to be trusted. It tells of physical and mental abuse this family endured and overcame, and the successes achieved because of determination and good choices made. It describes the events that led to fear of losing their lives because of poor decisions their husband and father made, and actual situations where the young boy had to physically stop his father from physically abusing his mother and sister. What is surprising about all of these events is that they happened to a Mennonite family living in a Mennonite community.
All scripture passages referred to in this book are taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
CHAPTER 1
SWISS-VOLHYNIAN HISTORY
T he twenty-third day of March 1947 was cool and dreary, and it was the day I was born, the second child to my parents. I was the boy my mother had dreamed of having. She had feared she may not be able have another child after my sister came into the world four and a half years before me. My father, on the other hand, never showed the excitement that most fathers exhibit when a son is born. The father-son relationship that generally develops as the years go by never materialized in my case.
This story is a true recollection of a boy growing up in a small, cliquish religious community, who throughout the years experienced rejection and hardships. My mother, sister, and I faced more than four decades of ill treatment, which I will describe in this narrative. Now at the age of seventy-two years, I am telling this very unusual story of what seemed to be a typical Mennonite farm family living a normal life in a small, central Kansas community. With both of my parents gone now, I feel free to tell this improbable story of what my family endured.
When one thinks about what it would be like growing up in a predominantly Mennonite community in a small Midwestern town, one develops a mental picture of what they assume it would look like. Growing up in a small Mennonite community, or in any small community for that matter, is often not what it is perceived to be. Most people think that Mennonite communities are low-conflict, loving, caring, peaceful communities, but that is not exactly how my community acted toward my family. Unfortunately, my community had a faulty perception of itself. Hypocrisy was alive and well. Some of the community people professed one thing but lived a much different way of life.
As I share my story, it is my hope that this account of my life will help bring an end to judgments based on faulty expectations and show that all children are in need of acceptance, encouragement, recognition, support, and love. It doesn’t matter if one is rich, poor, smart, or living with disabilities. Every child’s needs are the same.
I grew up with a feeling of being inadequate and inferior to other people in my community. These feelings resulted from such things as doubt, fear, guilt, rejection, and shame. For me, inadequate and inferior feelings resulted from the rejection I felt because of a father who demonstrated a lack of concern for his family, his lack of a true moral standard, and the ill treatment I experienced from some in my home community because of who my father was. My mother, sister, and I were deceived by a man who was a husband, father, and someone we trusted and loved. This was a man who some in the community were unable to respect, and rightly so, yet it appears that my father was singled out when some in the community lived similar lives. This all led to my family’s life of continual pain, rejection, isolation, and fear.
Before I begin to tell you my story, a little historical background on the lives of my ancestors will be helpful in understanding why our lives took the direction they did. The genealogical and historical events recorded in this book are written as they were told to me or were written in my family’s ancestry books.
The Mennonite community I grew up in was of the Swiss-Volhynian Mennonite tradition. These Swiss-Volhynian people migrated to central Kansas in 1874, during a time often referred to as the Great Migration. They migrated from the Emmental Valley in Canton Bern, Switzerland, with stops in France, Austria, Poland, Russia, New York, and South Dakota. The ship on which my ancestors sailed to America was called the City of Richmond .
Throughout the Mennonite historical experience, totalitarian governments were a major problem for them. They were persecuted because of their religious beliefs. The governments would require Mennonites to serve in their countries’ military. This Mennonites could not bring themselves to do so because of their pacifistic beliefs.
These people were what is called Anabaptist, which means they believed that baptism was only valid when the candidate for this religious act confessed his or her faith in Christ and wanted to be baptized. Thus, they were opposed to baptizing infants, who were not able to make a conscious decision to be baptized. This belief caused doctrinal conflicts with other religious groups and the state religion in most places they lived. Mennonites were nonviolent people who believed in the separation of church and state, meaning the state should not determine what is to be believed or practiced religiously. This desire to believe as they wanted and to live their lives as they wished was the driving force behind their migration to America.
Historically, Mennonites were often considered martyrs because they would not sacrifice their religious beliefs for what the world considered the “good life.” They held to the belief that God would bless them greatly if they lived the life they thought Jesus would want them to live. They, however, suffered many hardships, severe persecution, and adversity. At times, they became angry at the situations they had to face.
Mennonites were a very proud people and felt that being Mennonite made them a special people in the eyes of God. This feeling of supremacy is exemplified by the fact that they believed there would be a special place in heaven for only Mennonites. These believers considered themselves as more godly people than their non-Mennonite neighbors, even though that definitely was not always the case.
Mennonites became very wealthy because of their unparalleled farming skills. They were such superior farmers that Catherine the Great asked these Mennonite farmers to come to the Ukraine and teach the Russian people how to farm more effectively. Being wealthy and superior farmers probably