How to Debt-Proof Your Marriage

Mary Hunt

Description

In this highly practical book, Mary Hunt helps couples learn the principles of acceptance, freedom, safety, and honesty in money matters. How to Debt-Proof Your Marriage covers everything couples need for managing their money harmoniously, including how to• reconcile different money behaviors and beliefs • let go of financial fears • understand the basics of practical money management • share financial work between two people • manage roller-coaster income • successfully live debt-freeHunt's essential guide will help couples protect both their marriage and their money.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie
• Personal finance

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 octobre 2008
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781585587728
• Langue: English

Extrait

© 2003 by Mary Hunt
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Spire edition published 2008
Ebook edition created 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means for example, electronic, photocopy, recording without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-58558-772-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked NCV is taken from the New Century Version®. Copyright © 1987, 1988, 1991 by Word Publishing, a division of Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked TLB is taken from The Living Bible , copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Cheapskate Monthly, Debt-Proof Living, Rapid Debt-Repayment Plan, Rapid Debt-Repayment Plan Calculator, and Tiptionary are registered trademarks owned by Mary Hunt.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
For Harold, the love of my life and
companion through all the stages of marriage
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction
Part 1 Get Your Relationship Ready for Financial Harmony
1. This Is My Story, and I’m Sticking to It
A Story of Financial Discord
2. A Stiff Dose of Reality
Money, Marriage, and Reality
3. Marriage Is like a Dirt Road
Money and the Stages of Marriage
4. The Currency of Life
Why Money Is Hard for Couples
5. News Flash: You Are Different!
His Needs Are Not Her Needs
6. For Wives Only
Real Men Don’t Ask for Directions
7. For Husbands Only
You Can Have What You Want
8. Getting It Together
Honey, Let’s Talk about Our Relationship!
Part 2 How to Debt-Proof Your Marriage
9. Debt-Proof Living
An Overview
10. Till Debt Do Us Part
The Trouble with Debt
11. You Are Here
Discovering Your Worth
12. Getting to Where You Want to Be
The Basic Elements of Your Financial Plan
13. A Life-Changing Formula
The 80 Percent Solution
14. Knowledge Is a Powerful Thing
Where Does Your Money Go?
15. You Want Security? I’ll Show You Security!
You and Your Contingency Fund
16. You Want Freedom? I’ll Show You Freedom!
Expect the Unexpected
17. You Can Get Out of Debt, Yes You Can!
Rapid Debt-Repayment Plan
18. It’s Not a Budget, Honestly!
Planning How to Spend Your Money
Part 3 Unique Solutions for Common Dilemmas
19. Finding Money You Didn’t Know You Had
Forty Ways to Live beneath Your Means
20. Credit: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
Credit Cards, Credit Reports, Credit Scores, and Credit Repair
21. Tell the Middleman, Thanks but No Thanks!
How to Pay off Your Mortgage Early
22. How to Stay on Track with a Roller-Coaster Income
The Thrill and the Agony of Self-Employment
23. What to Do When You’ve Fallen and You Can’t Get Up
Credit Counseling and Debt Negotiation
24. A Call to Faithfulness
An Eternal Perspective on Wealth
25. Couples like You
Their Stories
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Notes
Introduction
Imagine how dull and boring our lives would be without harmony. Quilts would be pieced from the same fabric. The rainbow would be a series of seven red stripes. The a cappella group Take 6 would be reduced to Take 1, and you and your spouse would have exactly the same personality, temperament, and taste. Yawn. Harmony blends colors into the rainbow, creates the visual warmth of a quilt, combines the tones of the scale, and weaves the differences between a husband and wife into a satisfying and intimate relationship.
If you have money issues in your marriage big troubles, small problems, or something in between I am going to help you bring harmony to that most challenging part of your marriage. I am not going to force you into a one-size-fits-all budget or even tell you how to spend your money.
I am going to teach you everything I know about how to get out of debt. I’m going to tell you how to step away from the edge of fear and panic, how to live beneath your means, and how to prepare for the future. You’ve probably tried several times to manage your money and discovered it is not easy. You may have read books, purchased software, attended seminars, or enrolled in a program at your church or in your community. Your attempts may have worked in the beginning, but then, like a failed diet, you go back to the old ways and experience the equivalent of gaining back all of the weight you lost, plus some.
Information alone cannot change your financial situation. That’s because money in a marriage is not simply about money. If it were, you could pick up any basic financial information and have no trouble following it. Nonmoney decisions like what color to paint the bedroom or when to mow the lawn are what I characterize as “surface” matters. Easily resolved. But money issues? Whoa, baby! That’s a completely different story because matters of money are deeply emotional and affect us in ways we may not even be aware of. Money-related issues in a marriage are not surface matters.
As a precondition to developing financial harmony in your marriage, you and your spouse must have a deep emotional connection. Length of marriage has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you have ever connected at this level. The best word I know to describe this connection is “intimacy,” and I’m not talking about sex. Really.
The kind of intimacy that is a precondition to the development of financial harmony in your marriage has nothing to do with sex or physical attraction. It has everything to do with respect and trust. It is that safe place where the two of you are free to be who you are without pretending, without being ashamed, and without fear of rejection. Emotional intimacy is the secret ingredient you need to develop financial harmony in your marriage.
Have you ever wondered why two couples can face the same life-challenging situation unemployment, health problems, bankruptcy, or even the loss of a child and one couple comes through the ordeal stronger and more devoted than ever, while the other marriage crumbles under the strain? I believe it has to do with the intimacy I have just described. Intimacy is the insurance for all the stages of marriage and the promise of safe passage through the storms of life. Without that deep connection between spouses, just about anything can set them up for discord and financial disaster.
If you are discouraged because you’re sure your spouse is not interested in reading this book or even talking about its contents, don’t worry. The only person necessary to begin to move your relationship toward a place of intimacy and financial harmony is you. You can affect the beginning of significant change in your marriage, and if necessary you can do that single-handedly.
I don’t know everything, but I do know a lot about how to manage personal income, how to get out of debt (and stay out), and how to get rid of your financial fear and anxiety. Learning to manage money well in your marriage is worth the effort. Not only will that help your relationship to grow and mature, it’s a proven fact that a healthy marriage contributes to financial success in life.
I am not a certified financial planner or licensed marriage therapist. I have a degree, but you would not be impressed. What I offer you comes from experience and real life my real life. I know the fear of being swept out to sea on the waves of financial turmoil. Worry overtakes your mind. It’s hard to fall asleep; it hurts to wake up. Every aspect of your marriage falls under the shadow of impending doom. I’ve known all of that and I know the way out.
If you’re ready to get serious, I’m ready to take the guesswork out of personal money management for you. Even though we’ve never met, you’ll be surprised by how well I know you and the issues with which you’ve been struggling.
You’ve prayed for help to turn around your personal finances, and here you are, several paragraphs into the answers you’ve been looking for. No matter your current situation or how badly you may be feeling about your finances right now, take heart, my friend. Help is on the way.
Keep praying, stop worrying…and start reading.
Part 1
Get Your
Relationship Ready
for Financial Harmony
1
This Is My Story,
and I’m Sticking to It
A Story of Financial Discord
It was a typical hot summer day in California. I needed to get away to think things through. In desperation I grabbed the car keys and took off, no particular destination in mind. I wandered around for a while, hoping the pain would go away, but it didn’t. I ended up at my in-laws’ home, relieved to discover no one home. I didn’t feel much like talking.
I found the key, slipped in through the back door, and fell into the closest chair. I could hardly breathe and not because of the heat. To call this “anxiety” would be a serious understatement. Never before in my thirty-four years had I known such loss, fear, and dread. I was out of options. Nowhere to turn, no help, and worse, no hope.
From my earliest recollections, my life centered on a simple