Living Jewish Life Cycle

Goldie Milgram

Description

The spiritual tools you can use to infuse Jewish life cycle ceremonies with meaning, integrity and joy.

Discover the spiritual meaning in Judaism’s major life cycle moments. Understand, create and enter wholeheartedly into Jewish life cycle ceremonies, preparatory practice, and celebrations.

More than just how-to, Rabbi Goldie Milgram guides you in making your Jewish rites come alive with meaning, beauty and with lasting impact on you, your friends and family. She takes you beyond rote rites—beyond just surviving—and directly into accessing Jewish rites of passage as a force for thriving. With careful attention to both traditional and emerging practices across the full spectrum of Jewish life, Rabbi Milgram examines:

• Jewish Weddings, Traditional and Inclusive Rites
• Welcoming a New Baby and Raising a Healthy Jewish Child
• Meaningful, Memorable Adolescent and Adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah
• Ritual Support for Many Stages of Adulthood
• Jewish Rituals for When Relationships End
• Jewish Approaches to Dying, Death, Burial, Mourning and Remembering

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie
• Jewish philosophy
• Judaism
• Religion

Informations

• Publié par: Turner Publishing Company
• Date de parution: 03 octobre 2011
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781580235228
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Living Jewish Life Cycle: How to Create Meaningful Jewish Rites of Passage at Every Stage of Life
2009 Quality Paperback Edition, First Printing 2009 by Goldie Milgram
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
For information regarding permission to reprint material from this book, please mail or fax your request in writing to Jewish Lights Publishing, Permissions Department, at the address / fax number listed below, or e-mail your request to [e-mail] .
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Milgram, Goldie, 1955- Living Jewish life cycle: how to create meaningful Jewish rites of passage at every stage of life / Goldie Milgram. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN-13: 978-1-58023-335-4 1. Judaism-Customs and practices. 2. Life cycle, Human-Religious aspects- Judaism. 3. Life change events-Religious aspects-Judaism. 4. Jewish way of life. I. Title. BM700.M46 2008 296.4'4-dc22 2008026515
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Manufactured in the United States of America Cover Design: Melanie Robinson
Published by Jewish Lights Publishing A Division of LongHill Partners, Inc. Sunset Farm Offices, Route 4, P.O. Box 237 Woodstock, VT 05091 Tel: [phone] Fax: [phone] www.jewishlights.com
In loving memory of Percy Bub, uncle by marriage, patriarch, and role model. In the spirit of Jacob he wrestled.
CONTENTS
Introduction
1 Tradition and Transition: The Evolution of Jewish Rites of Passage
2 Helping Holiness Happen: Jewish Weddings of Almost Every Kind
3 Loving and Leaving: Jewish Rituals and Practices for When Relationships End
4 Babies: Longing, Breathing, Loss, Birth, and/or Adoption and Options
5 Belonging and Becoming: Ceremonies of Welcome, Naming, Covenant, and Blessing
6 Creating a Meaningful and Memorable Adult or Adolescent Bar/Bat Mitzvah
7 Expanding Jewish Ritual Support for the Many Stages of Adulthood
8 Leaving Life: Dying, Death, Burial, Mourning, and Memorial
Appendix 1 The Legacy of Your Footprint: Caring for the Environment on Your Special Day
Glossary
Suggestions for Further Reading and Learning
Acknowledgments
Index

About Jewish Lights
Copyright
INTRODUCTION
Rabbi, our wedding will be at sunset on a small island off the coast of western Canada. The beaches are great; there s even a small mountain. We ll fly you in and put you up for a few days. But please understand, we want the ceremonial mumbo jumbo out of the way as quickly as possible so our guests can have a good time on the party boats before it s too dark.
Ronnie and his fianc e, Debra, are highly detail-oriented, thirty-something architects. They ve thought through every bit of site design, catering, color scheme, and music for their wedding. They appear utterly stressed out, and I note that they are not meeting each other s eyes. Engagement can be a time of enchantment and deepening of relationship, but something here is amiss.
It seems that Debra s ninety-three-year-old grandmother won t come to the wedding unless they have a rabbi, rather than the justice of the peace they had planned-which is how I entered the picture. Although he had a bar mitzvah at age thirteen, Ronnie is a confirmed atheist; he s going along with this out of respect for how Debra feels about her grandmother.
What to do, what to say? Ronnie, do you remember how to say Kiddush, the blessing over the wine? He reels it off flawlessly at express train speed. Ronnie, Debra, the blessing recited over wine is part of many Jewish life cycle events-weddings, baby namings, bar mitzvahs, and most holy days, too. They both nod vigorously; they know this already. But why is wine part of these events? Could we take a few minutes so I can show you? Too polite to dismiss me outright, they look at each other with minor exasperation and nod their okay.
I take down a silver wine goblet and ask them to imagine they are at the finish line of the detail-driven marathon they have been on en route to the wedding. Their posture changes; they seem to relax a bit-just a bit. I invite them to synchronize their breathing. Their faces soften. I quietly fill the goblet to the brim with sweet kosher wine and hold it cupped, as is traditional, in the palm of my left hand.
Wine in Judaism symbolizes the life force-vitality, the joy of living. And a blessing is a springboard to happiness. Each symbol, word, and sacred sequence in the wedding has meaning and can help you become closer to each other. Each blessing is meant to expand your ability to perceive and receive the good things in life that can come from marriage. Vitality is definitely one of those good things.
Any blessing that is going to be effective becomes a whole-body experience; it is not just the rote recitation of words. If your hands shake, your cup will run over. That s totally fine; there s a saucer to catch the drops. Your cup running over is a metaphor for joy from the Torah, the Jewish scriptures.
Now, focus your intention by casting your gaze on the shimmering liquid and visualize the cup of your marriage full to the brim with joy and energy for living, a strong current that will carry you both for many years to come.
And now expand your vision; imagine those near and dear to you filled with blessing, their vitality expanding with the joy of witnessing this special moment.
I ll actually be chanting this blessing for you on your wedding day, but just for now, Ronnie, would you be willing to slowly, with the feelings you are having, chant or say the first verse of the blessing again? Chant it to Debra, your beloved. Let your feelings fill your voice, no matter if your singing isn t perfect, or if each word doesn t have an exact meaning for you yet.
Debra s deep brown eyes fill with tears, the good kind, as Ronnie reveals a side of himself she has rarely seen. His sound is rich and full; his heart seems to pour from his chest as he comes alive. Plenty of drops spill from the cup.
The warm silence of pure togetherness reigns.
Debra s lips have begun to quiver as she speaks: I want to try, but I don t know the words and I don t know the tune but I feel awe, and something I d almost forgotten in all the planning I feel so loving and centered.
We decide that Ronnie will chant the words one by one, and Debra will echo him. The reenchantment has begun. On their wedding day they will again gaze upon their cup of life, full to the brim, and pray for vitality for each other, their family, and the guests who happily will now include Debra s grandmother. They will each drink the wine, sweet and fruity on their tongues, the warmth in their chest as it goes down adding a small rush of energy. Each blessing in the wedding ritual sequence carries powerful ways for them to braid themselves together in commitment and love.

When understood and properly performed, the life cycle ceremonies and traditions of the Jewish people are very powerful. Ronnie and Debra discovered that preparing themselves would prove to be as important as attending to the mitzvah, the sacred responsibility, of preparing for their guests. In our study sessions they learned, as you will here, all the components and many dimensions of meaning in this life cycle event, as well as the full sequence of sacred practices needed to prepare for it.
Jewish rites of passage are designed to cultivate the qualities of intimacy, growth, support, and awe that are beneficial to navigating life s transitions. Living Jewish Life Cycle provides both education and mentoring so that you will be better able to understand, create, and enter wholeheartedly into Jewish life cycle ceremonies, preparatory practices, and celebrations. Mentoring, in this sense, means that you will be guided in how to make your Jewish rites come alive with meaning, beauty, and impact. Living Jewish Life Cycle will take you beyond facts, beyond surviving, and directly into accessing Jewish rites of passage as a force for thriving.
Respectful pluralism prevails in these pages. Diverse approaches drawn from across the spectrum of Jewish practice and perspective are offered with the expectation that readers come from a wide variety of family structures, as well as religious and ethnic backgrounds. Jewish families have always been diverse, comprising virtually every nationality, race, ethnicity, orientation, religion, and language group. Not every Jewish group and family has adopted the concept of respectfully acknowledging each other s differences. Accordingly, Living Jewish Life Cycle also offers upfront guidance for finding our way during such challenging situations. A method called Focusing is demonstrated, and sample encounters are offered for navigating situations such as intermarriage, divorced parents, finding a sacred name, and responding to differing levels of religious observance in the family that tend to erupt during life cycle event planning.
THE EXPANDING RANGE OF JEWISH RITUAL
While it is not possible to cover all the permutations of events that can happen in a life, the goal here is to empower you by providing the tools you need to appreciate Jewish life cycle traditions, as well as to contribute to the evolution of Judaism by customizing practices to your own life and family situation. You can read this volume straight through or use it as a resource for each major stage of life as it arrives.
Humans are living decades longer than when the traditional Jewish rites of passage were first developed. Our society has undergone major changes in health care, free time, morality, transportation, and communication, all of which impact Jewish practice. Opportunities to advance Jewish culture through the creation of new and expanded rituals are emerging daily. Attention to matters s