Never Give in to Fear

Marti MacGibbon

Description

Never Give in to Fear, Marti MacGibbon's darkly funny, dramatic memoir, describes a drug-fueled descent into the underworld, escape from human traffickers, homelessness, and ultimate redemption.

Sujets

• Memoir
• Philosophie et théologie

Informations

• Publié par: Stay Strong Publishing
• Date de parution: 01 octobre 2012
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780986006715
• Langue: English

Extrait

More Praise for Never Give in to Fear
“Marti MacGibbon shows readers just how rough the road to redemption is in her gritty memoir of addiction...Her raw, honest, casual, funny voice permeates every page. The road to recovery begins with her daughter’s forgiveness...Facing a number of tough crowds as her stand-up career restarts also helps Marti learn to maintain her composure. In the end, readers will likely feel the restorative power that’s symbolized in the memoir’s striking closing image of a rare albino redwood, a symbol of healing...A dark yet inspiring look at conquering addiction and regaining hope.”
—Kirkus Reviews
“ Never Give in to Fear is a great title because Marti didn’t give in and reading her story I probably would have. It’s an incredible, inspiring, sometimes funny, often unbelievable journey to recovery. No matter what your personal journey is, this book will help you along the way.”
—Alonzo Bodden, comedian, winner of NBC’s Last Comic Standing: Tonight Show, and star of the Showtime special, “Who’s Paying Attention.”
“...Her narration is funny—she can laugh at her old self, even as she shows the reader the terror and loss she felt in the past...MacGibbon is self-aware, and is able to show the humor of the moment without losing the tense pacing of her story. The memoir whips along, hardly taking a breath...Comparable to Mary Karr’s Lit ...an excellent story, both inspiring and entertaining...Honest to a fault, in ruthless pursuit of the story, MacGibbon’s memoir is captivating from the very first sentence...A memoir that offers hope, even in the worst of times, Never Give in to Fear is a terrific read. It’s the perfect book for a reader in recovery, though MacGibbon’s real-life adventures will be equally appealing to anyone who needs a little more adrenaline in their reading list.
—Foreword Clarion Reviews (Five Stars out of five)
“I absolutely love this book. I haven’t read a drug infused adventure this good since Hunter Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas . MacGibbon’s book is funny, inspirational and always entertaining.”
—Ritch Shydner, comedian, Tonight Show, Late Night with David Letterman, co-author, I Killed: True Stories of the Road by America’s Top Comics
“It’s amazing that Marti MacGibbon survived her harrowing life and had the guts to recount it…not too preachy, the author’s candor and sense of humor keep the pages turning.”
— bohemian.com
“Rarely do you find such inspiration in so riveting a story. Moment to moment, he story twists and turns in a white-knuckle fashion—I held my breath in suspense, yet at the same time got the perfect amount of comic relief...Her narration is so funny and real that I found myself laughing out loud while my heart was breaking...While there are plenty of books about people’s real life experiences, only Never Give in to Fear delivers this much style and substance...It’s not only the intensity of the story and the challenges that Marti overcame, it was how she did it and still remained funny as hell on the way.”
—Karen Rontowski, comedienne, of Late Night with David Letterman and Comedy Central
“Marti’s natural humor and storytelling help balance out the book into a symmetrical tale of both hurt and healing...The book is successful as a motivating tool and touching story. In the end, her saving grace comes in an unlikely form, and it almost brought a tear to my eye. Never Give In To Fear is a book everyone needs to read. This is not only a story about the danger of drugs, but about the power of the human spirit.”
—San Francisco Book Review
“Marti MacGibbon has written a terrific memoir...Marti, through her humor and great sense of story, takes us on a journey few, if any of us, could survive. And she survives it intact and with great style and humor.”
—Mark Schiff, comedian, Tonight Show, Late Night with David Letterman: co-author, I Killed: True Stories of the Road from America’s Top Comics
“Marti MacGibbon takes you on a journey of amazing pitfalls, dizzying heights, and the depths of deepest alcoholism and drug addiction. Her recovery and redemption lift the spirit, and bring joy to the heart. Never Give in to Fear is a book you will return to time and time again. Most important book I have read in the past five years.”
—Paul Jacek, comedian, co-host of the internet sensation “OH, MARY!” radio show on LA Talk Radio.
“Ms. MacGibbon’s memoir is a raw, honest and powerful account of her journey into addiction and her extraordinary courage, humor, and sensitivity as she travels the path to recovery. Never Give in to Fear provides readers with remarkable insight into the human condition.”
—Richard Nass, Ph.D, Associate Professor of Pharmacology and Toxicology, Indiana University School of Medicine

Copyright 2011 by Marti MacGibbon
All Rights Reserved
ISBN: 978-0-9860067-0-8
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012930713
Writers Guild Association West, Inc. Registry Number: 1546006 (11/26/2011)
NOTE TO READERS: This book is a memoir, describing the author’s present recollections of her experiences over a number of years. Characters’ names have been changed, and some characters are composites. Dialogue and events have been retrieved from memory and have been condensed in some cases to impart the essence of what was said or took place.
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
Printed in the United States of America.
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CONTENTS
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C HAPTER 1
Slippery Slope
C HAPTER 2
Onward Down the Toll Road
C HAPTER 3
Desperate Measures
C HAPTER 4
The Two Samurai
C HAPTER 5
Old Scars and the Stories They Tell
C HAPTER 6
Hanging by a Thread
C HAPTER 7
Flooded
C HAPTER 8
Outdoors
C HAPTER 9
Check Your Weapons at the Door
C HAPTER 10
Abandoned House with a Tropical Getaway
C HAPTER 11
Chance Encounter
C HAPTER 12
Indoors
C HAPTER 13
Does This Mean the Harleymoon Is Over?
C HAPTER 14
Motel Hell
C HAPTER 15
Nebraska
C HAPTER 16
Greyhound and Western Union
C HAPTER 17
Homecoming
C HAPTER 18
Climbing Out from Under the Rock
C HAPTER 19
Breakthrough
C HAPTER 20
Stand Your Ground
Epilogue
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
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Infinite thanks to my husband, Christopher Fitzhugh: you are the love of my life and my hero; without you I wouldn’t have lived to tell my story. Boundless thanks to my daughter. And thank you, Yvonne Dauphin, for your careful and insightful editing.

Photos of me before I left Texas for California—so clean-cut!
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CHAPTER 1
SLIPPERY SLOPE
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MY LIFE AT HYPERSPEED. THAT’S WHAT I SEE NOW, LOOKING BACK . When I first arrived in California, I was living fast, as fast as I could—yet still haunted by a sense of inertia, as in nightmares when you’re trying to run and your legs won’t move, or trying to scream and no sound comes out. I never felt like I had enough time to accomplish what I needed to survive in life. I always rushed onward, blind to opportunity, self-realization, and love, toward self-destruction.
I loved California—every square inch of it. I loved L.A. with its cool desert nights and brilliant, pollution-enhanced sunsets, and San Francisco with its cold fog rolling in over the Golden Gate Bridge, and all points in between. I loved the dope and the sex and the rock n’ roll.
I especially loved the redwood country north of San Francisco. In December 1984, when I discovered the Russian River, or rather it discovered me, I thought I was fleeing the city for a quieter, more peaceful existence, free from the frenetic energy of my crack addict housemates.
At that point in my life I was a recreational user, and my friends tended to be what clinicians call “high-functioning” addicts. In all fairness to my housemates I feel like I’ve gotta take a moment here to tell you that although they were strung out on smoking crack, they’d all graduated from excellent schools—U.C. Berkeley and ­Columbia—and they somehow managed to hold down yuppie jobs despite a ferocious preoccupation with crack.
I thought my three housemates were dope-hungry, but then, I hadn’t experienced the River People yet. And I never dreamed I’d eventually become one of the River People. Nothing could’ve prepared me for that eventuality when, only a few months previously in September, I’d loaded up my Datsun Sentra, turned my back on Texas, and relocated to California with my head full of dreams—dreams of making it big as a standup comic.
I’d been honing my craft in the local comedy club in Austin and had progressed to the point of assessing myself ready for California. Instead of moving to Los Angeles, I’d chosen to try San Francisco first. In spite of being in the wrong city, I still landed an audition for the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson a few months after I arrived in California. They liked me and scheduled me for an appearance in December 1985. I was pretty, blonde, tall, statuesque, and funny. In those days the comedy scene was exploding, and a comic’s appearance on Carson’s show practically guaranteed a magnificent career would follow. So I felt lucky—and also certain that I could achieve anything I set my mind to. The problem was, back then my mind tended to be bent by drugs and alcohol, and my judgment was generally skewed at best.
I told myself that now I only needed to hunker down, work on my act, and save enough money to relocate to L.A. Once in Los Angeles, I’d perform as a regular at the Comedy Store. The Tonight Show people could keep an eye on me and groom me for my scheduled set. That’s why I was now headed to the River. I’d arranged to rent a room for rock-bottom prices. Looking back now, I wonder wh