Our Better Selves

Jan Lovell

Description

In this heartfelt collection, ordinary people share stories of resilience, faith, and love as they faced difficult challenges and chose to become better versions of themselves.

We humans all share a basic need for purpose, joy, and love.

Yet, we will all encounter some painful troubles or storms in our lifetimes. Any can knock us off course. Others can engulf us.

These experiences can harden our hearts or dash our hopes.

But there is Light amid the turmoil. We can forge a better version of ourselves while finding our way through the tempest.

These relatable stories are of ordinary people who faced extraordinary storms yet chose to live with resilience, faith, and love. They decided to become better, not bitter, to heal and cultivate compassion toward others.

Like a good friend who gently shares a life-changing experience with us, this heartfelt collection provides wayfinders for our journeys.

Sujets

• Religion
• Christianisme
• Christian Living
• Personal Growth
• Philosophie et théologie
• God
• Purpose
• Tragedy
• Love

Informations

• Publié par: WestBow Press
• Date de parution: 23 mai 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781664289031
• Langue: English

Extrait

OUR BETTER SELVES
 
A Journey of Love Amid Life’s Storms
 
 
 
Jan Lovell
 
 
 
 
 
Copyright © 2023 Jan Lovell.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
 
WestBow Press
A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.westbowpress.com
844-714-3454
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
 
ISBN: 978-1-6642-8902-4 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-8904-8 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-8903-1 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2023900344
 
 
 
WestBow Press rev. date: 05/16/2023
Acknowledgements
Many thanks to everyone who shared their stories, for my courageous sister Sue, to Pastor Harlan Seri, and to Tom and Chris for their loving support.
 
Contents
Introduction
PART I: Their Stories
Mary
Craig
Hedi
Mary Ann
Sue
Jan
Life Is What Happens When You’re Making Plans
PART II: What’s Next? It Is a Choice.
Just Breathe
Reconnection
Let’s Ramp It Up
Wake Up!
Take out the Garbage
PART III: Build the Muscle
Muster the Courage to Act
My Better Self: Pivotal Steps
The Heavy Lifting
Anger
Forgiveness
Strengthening the Core
Guard Your Heart
Restoration
God’s Love
About the Author
Introduction
The little girl stretched on her tippy toes at the kitchen sink, grasping to reach the small faucet handles.
She desperately needed that glass of water. Her face was flushed, her ponytail a mess, and she was hot and thirsty after playing tag and jumping rope with her cousins. They always raced to the bottom of her grandma’s hillside to play hopscotch on the rutted sidewalk. Playing with her cousins before the university football game was such fun.
She almost reached the handle when she sensed a grown-up approach. It was her Aunt Gladys. She was the aunt whose coiffed hair retained its perfection even in a gale-force wind. Aunt Gladys always wore a tailored pantsuit, not a team sweatshirt, to the big game. She gingerly clapped for touchdowns while the rest of us shrieked, high-fived, and jumped up and down.
But back to the glass of water. “There you are, dear,” Aunt Gladys said after filling the glass, handing the little girl the water, and quickly controlling the conversation. “Have you heard? Your older cousin, my eldest son, plans to attend law school. And my youngest son, maybe just two years older than you, plans to become a doctor. What do you want to be when you grow up, dear?”
The little girl gulped water to fill the void. She stared at the floor, debating whether to share her ideas. Then, thankfully, she noticed an untied shoelace on her Red Ball Jets sneaker and bent down to tie it.
“You better be thinking about it,” Aunt Gladys warned before returning to the grown-ups. “It is a big decision.”
Okay. So that little girl was me. I decided not to share my ideas. What if she laughed at them?
A superhero, a veterinarian, and an Olympic athlete were just a few options on my list of what I wanted to be when I grew up. The possibilities seemed limitless. Just imagine—a job where I could rescue people in the nick of time, help heal a family’s beloved pet, or represent our country as among the fastest runners in the world.
Or maybe I’ll become a ballerina, I daydreamed after being mesmerized by the magnificent music and graceful dancers who effortlessly swept across the stage in The Nutcracker ballet …
My childhood dance instructor, however, helped me come to grips with the reality that Arabesque movements may not be in my genes. Then I found out that veterinarians must give shots to cuddly pets, and winning the fifty-yard dash in sixth grade wasn’t quite good enough to qualify for the Olympics. Plus, I never did figure out my unique superpower.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?” we were all continually asked by our teachers, counselors, and relatives. Perhaps you determined your road map when you were young, got on the fast track with your focused education, and quickly reached your lifework destination. Done. Time for the cruise control. Or maybe your road map included taking a detour along a dusty and rutted dirt road, eventually arriving at an unexpected career destination.
I was one of those who cheerfully hoped that my path would unfold as planned if I set goals and worked hard. As a little girl heading into the Sunday school classroom, I loved to stop and gaze at the picture of Jesus surrounded by children from all over the world. His face shone with kindness and love as He helped everyone along a path that wound into the distance. I felt the assurance of His companionship. I did not notice the rugged mountains or storm clouds in the far distance.
But life is what happens when we are busy making plans. And each of us will face storms. Whether it is a loved one or a dear friend who passes away, addiction, disease, a tragic accident, or a global pandemic, we all share the common denominator of having times of hardship.
That is apparently why many perceptive folks throughout the centuries have compared life to riding in a rickety boat on a stormy sea, clinging tightly with fear, hoping for safe passage. “We men and women are all in the same boat, upon a stormy sea” (G. K. Chesterton, volume 28, Oct. 2, 1909).
I don’t know about you, but I would like to know how to swim or at least be aware of where the life jackets are if we all will be in this rickety boat at some point in our lives. Some type of guidance or instruction manual would be helpful so that we not only survive the storm but become more resilient.
We have all heard that the challenges in life and how we face them define who we are. But more importantly, those experiences can help shape who we are becoming. Instead of focusing on life as a race to reach a career pinnacle when we are “grown-ups,” what if the focus was the journey itself? If the journey matters, we can make time to help others along the way and savor our relationships with family and loved ones.
Our goals can include becoming a better person instead of the best.
I was glad to read a national poll a few years ago that resulted in a majority of respondents saying that “being a better person” was their New Year’s resolution instead of the usual priorities of “lose weight” and “exercise more.” Now that is a headline. Rather than the typical self-centered physical goal of looking better, most of those surveyed wanted to behave better with one another.
Our world sorely needs a lot more of us seeking “betterness.” We are in a time when a 280-character tweet online can shatter a reputation. Teenagers and elementary school children fear they may be the next shooting rampage victim. The number of hate groups in the United States has risen explosively. Opioid addiction has shattered our life expectancy. Mass killings continue to escalate at any locale—concerts, movie theaters, churches, synagogues, and schools. We have seen lies spread across social media faster than a prairie fire during a drought. Strangers spew anger publicly at other strangers. Polarized political extremes have impeded progress in the halls of Congress and chilled family conversation at the dinner table. Natural disasters are more frequent and severe. Racial tension has erupted. Houses of worship have become targets. Even the United Nations Secretary-General Antonio Guterres sounded a global alarm, “Our world is in peril—and paralyzed.”
The distressing news and chaotic distractions can numb us and let what seems like an angry world harden our hearts.
Or, we can listen to our hearts and get off the sidelines. We can choose loving, not hateful, actions. We can look for the lights in the darkness, look for the best in people, be kind and caring, and help leave the world a better place.
It starts with each of us. It is a choice we can ponder while reading the following stories of “ordinary” people faced with life storms that could have swamped their rickety boats. But instead, they chose to live with fullness, intention, resilience, faith, and love. They found their way to being better, not bitter. They went through their storms, not around them, to avoid the pain, teaching us all. Their stories and others provide impactful and pragmatic steps to create a My Better Self fitness plan.
A friend told me about her excruciating experiences in her early twenties, including domestic abuse, divorce, and depression. “It’s not what we face,” said this woman who was a manager in a respected organization. “Everyone has problems. It is who we become as we go through them. And what we have learned when we get to the other side.”
Who am I to be telling these stories? I am just a former newspaper reporter. I don’t have a psychology, counseling, or seminary de