Reading People

Anne Bogel

Description

If the viral Buzzfeed-style personality quizzes are any indication, we are collectively obsessed with the idea of defining and knowing ourselves and our unique place in the world. But what we're finding is this: knowing which Harry Potter character you are is easy, but actually knowing yourself isn't as simple as just checking a few boxes on an online quiz.For readers who long to dig deeper into what makes them uniquely them (and why that matters), popular blogger Anne Bogel has done the hard part--collecting, exploring, and explaining the most popular personality frameworks, such as Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, Enneagram, and others. She explains to readers the life-changing insights that can be gained from each and shares specific, practical real-life applications across all facets of life, including love and marriage, productivity, parenting, the workplace, and spiritual life. In her friendly, relatable style, Bogel shares engaging personal stories that show firsthand how understanding personality can revolutionize the way we live, love, work, and pray.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie
• Popular psychology

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 19 septembre 2017
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781493412280
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 2 Mo

Extrait

Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
© 2017 by Anne Bogel
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks .com
Ebook edition created 2017
Ebook corrections 12.19.2018
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-1228-0
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Myers-Briggs, MBTI, and MBTI Logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of the MBTI® Trust, Inc., in the United States and other countries.
The author is represented by the William K. Jensen Literary Agency.
Endorsements
“After years of trusting her as our book whisperer, Anne Bogel has finally written a book for us! This is the book I didn’t even know I was waiting for. I can’t wait to share it with everyone I know.”
— Emily P. Freeman , Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Simply Tuesday
“Anne Bogel is a smart, savvy, kindhearted woman of wisdom whose words continually have me nodding my head in agreement and saying, ‘I thought I was the only one!’ This book, and all of her future books, will have a prominent space on my shelf. The world is better because of her insight.”
— Tsh Oxenreider , author of At Home in the World and Notes from a Blue Bike
“As someone who loves analyzing myself, my family, and my friends and learning more about what makes each of us unique, I absolutely adored Reading People . This book hasn’t just impacted me as a parent. Understanding more about how people are wired through the research, data, and examples Anne gives is helping me in every relationship. Truly, I feel like I’m a better wife, mom, employer, friend, and person for having read this book.”
— Crystal Paine , New York Times bestselling author of Say Goodbye to Survival Mode and founder of MoneySavingMom.com
“You possibly picked up this book because you want to understand someone around you who might be, how should I say this, difficult. This book will most certainly help you understand them better, but what I suspect might happen along the way is that you will begin to understand yourself better. Anne lays out so many different ways to view and understand our own personalities, as well as those around us. This book will help you be a better parent, spouse, friend, boss, employee, and more. Personal relationships are core to our existence, and this book in your hands will help your relationships go deeper and last longer because of the greater understanding you will have for yourself and those around you.”
— Jamie Ivey , author and host of The Happy Hour podcast
“For years I’ve been seeking out Anne’s impeccable advice on what books to read, and at first glance I thought this book was all about the people who read—and it is. Surprise! Books aren’t the only thing we can read. Reading People is the perfect reminder that the most important reading assignment you’ll ever have might be sitting at the dinner table with you and staring back at you in the mirror.”
— Myquillyn Smith , author of The Nesting Place
“Whether you’re an Enneagram guru, a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator nerd, a StrengthsFinder coach, or a personality-test novice, you’ll find something in Reading People . In these pages, Anne examines the personality tests that measure our individuality, but more importantly, she uses those tests to highlight a beautiful truth: our personalities are what make us utterly unique, perfectly human, and ultimately beautiful.”
— Seth Haines , author of Coming Clean
“ Reading People is a game-changing book. It empowers us to see both ourselves and others in a more gracious manner and offers useful ideas for how to build stronger and healthier relationships. The wisdom Anne Bogel packs in Reading People is insightful, easy-to-understand, and life-giving.”
— Jessica N. Turner , author of The Fringe Hours
“Anne Bogel delivers a fantastically useful and practical guide to personality frameworks that cuts through the hype, false promises, and personality parlor tricks. This is a concise, highly readable guide to the Enneagram, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and other personality tools that draws deeply from stories of her own growth and extensive reading.”
— Ed Cyzewski , author of A Christian Survival Guide and Coffeehouse Theology
Dedication
For Will, who gets me
Contents
Cover 1
Title Page 3
Copyright Page 4
Endorsements 5
Dedication 7
Introduction: A Noble Pursuit 11
1. My Aha! Moment: Understanding My Personality Type 23
2. Communication Breakdown: Introverts and Extroverts 35
3. Too Hot to Handle: Highly Sensitive People 57
4. Love and Other Acts of Blindness: The Five Love Languages 73
5. You’re Not Crazy, You’re Just Not Me: Keirsey’s Temperaments 93
6. Type Talk: The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator 115
7. The Deck Is Stacked: The MBTI Cognitive Functions 139
8. Play to Your Strengths: The Clifton StrengthsFinder 155
9. Confront Your Junk: The Enneagram 171
10. Your Personality Is Not Your Destiny: How Much Can People Change? 193
Acknowledgments 205
Recommended Resources 207
Notes 211
About the Author 219
Back Ads 221
Back Cover 223
Introduction
a noble pursuit
The BuzzFeed-style quiz is taking over the internet, serving up answers to questions no one is asking. What Star Wars character are you? What restaurant trend describes your personality? Which Hogwarts house suits you best? What city should you actually live in? Which Ryan Gosling character is your soul mate? What’s your superpower? Your work style?
These addictive quizzes make it easy to put ourselves in (very weird) boxes. And if my Facebook feed is any indication, people can’t resist taking these quizzes and sharing their results—no matter how inane the topic or how small the insight offered. Underpinning these quizzes is the core assumption that we won’t have the same answers. We are all different—in matters both serious and silly—and discovering those differences is strangely enjoyable. Cynics argue that we’re drawn to these simple check-the-box quizzes because we’re ill-equipped to deal with the complexity of real life, but I believe this trend points to something more substantial.
We’re not just looking for a way to kill five minutes online. Our methods may be questionable, but our motives are pure: we truly want to know more about ourselves and the people we interact with every day. We suspect our lives would be better if we actually understood ourselves and the people we love. We want to know why we do what we do, think what we think, act how we act—and why they do too.
But what we’re finding is this: actually knowing ourselves isn’t as easy as taking a few check-the-box quizzes on the internet. We’re surprised to discover that it’s difficult to perceive ourselves for who we really are. That information would be infinitely more useful, but it’s also harder to come by. Since we don’t know where to start to find the good stuff—the genuinely helpful information about ourselves and the people we love—we settle for discovering which defunct ’90s soda we are or which Jane Austen leading man we’re meant to marry. But if we instead knew the right questions to ask ourselves—the ones that would give us true insight into our inner selves—and approached those questions with the same playful spirit (and perhaps just a smidge more seriousness and self-reflection), we could emerge with life-changing information. We could learn to read people better—ourselves and others.
What Makes You You
This struggle to define ourselves isn’t some narcissistic fad driven by social media. Our collective fascination with understanding ourselves—and, specifically, understanding our personalities—goes back much further than that, to way before the days of the internet. We’ve known for a long time that we don’t begin our lives as identical blank slates. For thousands of years, writers, philosophers, and even biblical heroes have teased out the differences in human nature. We can find personality references in the writings of Socrates and Shakespeare, as well as in the writings of the desert fathers and America’s founding fathers. When Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them” (1 Corinthians 12:4), I imagine he was speaking not only of spiritual gifts but also of personality traits. (Paul himself was certainly known for his fiery personality and was under no illusions few were quite like him.)
When we talk about someone’s personality, we’re referring to those characteristic patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that make that person unique. We’re all inclined to think, feel, and act in particular ways. Our personalities capture what we’re likely to find relaxing or exciting or pleasurable or tough. This core set of qualities is a huge part of what makes you you .
Current research indicates that personality traits are hardwired; they’re largely hereditary and remain relatively constant throughout our lives. 1 If we’re outgoing or reserved, energetic or subdued, we deserve neither credit nor blame for those traits. We just came that way, out of the box, and we can’t trade ourselves in for a different model.
While personality is a key part of who you are, it’s just one of many things that make you you . Many important traits don’t fall under the personality umbrella