The Creative Jewish Wedding Book (2nd Edition)

Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer

Description

Enrich your wedding with your own creative use of Jewish ritual and tradition.

Wedding planning can be a stressful experience. Keeping track of all the details—deciding who to invite, choosing a caterer, arranging the reception—can sometimes lead to a couple forgetting about the bigger picture and the significance of this day in their lives: a joyous occasion that should reflect not only your personality, but your values, as well.

Updated and expanded, The Creative Jewish Wedding Book, 2nd Edition, brings your complete wedding planning into focus. Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer helps you express your individuality and spirituality on your wedding day. Whether your plans are traditional or alternative, whether you are planning your first or second marriage, she provides the tools you need to look at and think about ritual and tradition in new and innovative ways including:

• Insights and reflections from a broad range of couples who have created their own distinctive weddings
• Practical hands-on techniques and ideas for creating many of the ritual objects connected to a Jewish wedding—from designing your own ketubah, to making paper for invitations, to fashioning the chuppah
• How to express your spiritual life and values through your ceremony—now updated with more eco-friendly tips and suggestions
• An up-to-date guide to wedding resources in the Jewish world

Inspiring and useful, The Creative Jewish Wedding Book, 2nd Edition, can help you reclaim your wedding day from the whirlwind of details and bring out the honesty and integrity you desire in your wedding experience.

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Sujets

• guide
• Philosophie et théologie
• Reference work
• Judaism
• Religion

Informations

• Publié par: Turner Publishing Company
• Date de parution: 11 janvier 2012
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781580236065
• Langue: English

Extrait

The Creative Jewish Wedding Book, 2nd Edition :
A Hands-On Guide to New Old Traditions, Ceremonies Celebrations
2009 Quality Paperback Second Edition, First Printing
2004 Quality Paperback First Edition, First Printing
2004 and 2009 Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
For information regarding permission to reprint material from this book, please mail or fax your request in writing to Jewish Lights Publishing, Permissions Department, at the address / fax number listed below, or send an e-mail to [e-mail] .
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kaplan-Mayer, Gabrielle, 1971-
The creative Jewish wedding book: a hands-on guide to new old traditions, ceremonies celebrations / by Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN-13: 978-1-58023-194-7 (quality pbk.)
ISBN-10: 1-58023-194-2 (quality pbk.)
1. Marriage customs and rites, Jewish. 2. Marriage-Religious aspects-Judaism. I. Title: Hands-on guide to new and old traditions, ceremonies and celebrations. II. Title.
BM713.K36 2004
296.4 44-dc22
2004004589
Second Edition
ISBN-13: 978-1-58023-398-9
ISBN-10: 1-58023-398-8
Grateful acknowledgment is given to the following sources for permission to use material: portions of Engendering Judaism: An Inclusive Theology and Ethics by Rachel Adler. Reprinted from Engendering Judaism , 1998, by Rachel Adler, The Jewish Publication Society with the permission of the publisher, The Jewish Publication Society. Gender-neutral ketubah text, 1996, by Betsy Platkin Teutsch. Used by permission. Humanistic ketubah text, 2000, by the Association for Humanistic Rabbis and the Leadership Conference of Secular Humanistic Jews. Used by permission. Interfaith ketubah text, A Good Company, 1993. Used by permission. Contemporary Birkat Hamazon , 1987, by Rabbi Shefa Gold ( www.rabbishefagold.com ). Used by permission. Contemporary Sheva Brachot by Rabbi Marcia Prager, Marcia Prager. Used by permission. Contemporary Sheva Brachot by Arthur Ocean Waskow and Phyllis Ocean Berman. Used by permission.
Pages 260-261 constitute a continuation of this copyright page.
Cover design: Stacey Hood
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Manufactured in Canada
Published by Jewish Lights Publishing
A Division of LongHill Partners, Inc.
Sunset Farm Offices, Route 4, P.O. Box 237
Woodstock, VT 05091
Tel: [phone] Fax: [phone]
www.jewishlights.com
The Creative
Jewish Wedding Book
is written for you if-
You are knowledgeable about Jewish wedding traditions but are seeking ways to make your wedding more personal;
You are just learning about Jewish wedding traditions and want to use your creative talents in designing your wedding;
You and your partner are both Jewish but have different opinions about Jewish ritual and are seeking ways to honor creatively each other s beliefs;
You are new to Judaism and want to have a meaningful Jewish wedding;
You are Jewish, but your partner comes from a non-Jewish background, and you both want to create a meaningful Jewish wedding;
You are not Jewish, but you want to learn about Judaism and creative approaches to Jewish wedding customs;
You and your partner are gay or lesbian and want to learn about options for creative Jewish commitment ceremonies or weddings;
You are Jewish, have been married before, and want to create a wedding that honors the blending of both your families;
You are Jewish but also find spiritual resonance in Buddhist, Native American, or other traditions and want to incorporate them into your wedding;
You are the mother, father, sibling, friend, cousin, or other relative of someone who is getting married, and you want to be able to help the couple create some of the rituals and ritual objects that will be used in their wedding;
You are a rabbi, cantor, or Jewish teacher seeking creative ways to enhance the wedding ritual.
F or Fred,
my beloved companion and partner in crime. With gratitude to the Divine Presence who brought us together, sustains us, and allows us to grow each day in love, friendship, and understanding.
Contents
Foreword
Preface
A Special Note to the Second Edition
Acknowledgments
Introduction 1
Creativity as Jewish Spiritual Expression
A Word of Warning about the Wedding Industry
An Opportunity for Transformation
The Inter-Jewish Marriage
Considerations for Interfaith Couples
A Special Note for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Kavannah -Sacred Intention
How to Use This Book
Creative Visualization
1 Getting Started: Creating the Wedding of Your Dreams
Jewish Connections-Figuring Them Out
Listen to Your Heart, Listen to Each Other
Managing Family Dynamics
Choosing A Date-Factors to Consider
Selecting an Officiant
Setting a Budget
Style, Approach, and Location
The Professional Wedding Planner-Yes or No?
Honorary Roles
What about the Guest List?
Green Jewish Weddings
2 Hear Ye, Hear Ye: Setting the Stage with Unique Invitations
Envisioning Your Invitation
English and Hebrew?
Creative Options for Designing Your Invitation
Family Dynamics and Your Wedding Invitation
3 Let s Make A Deal: Crafting Your Ketubah
The Complexity of the Ketubah s Legacy
Types of Text
Should You Write Your Own Ketubah ?
The Art of the Ketubah
Envisioning Your Ketubah
Creative Options for Making Your Ketubah
Family Dynamics and Your Ketubah
4 Chuppah Hooplah: Creative Possibilities for Your Wedding Canopy
The Origin and Purpose of a Chuppah
Envisioning Your Chuppah , Part One
Envisioning Your Chuppah , Part Two
Creative Options for Chuppah Styles
Don t Forget the Poles
Practical Considerations
Family Dynamics and Your Chuppah
5 The Truth about the Aufruf and Other Jewish Pre-Wedding Rituals
Henna Party
Immersing in the Mikvah
Envisioning Your Mikvah
Aufruf -The Pre-Wedding Aliyah
Creating a Wedding Shabbaton
Separation/Fasting
Family Dynamics During the Pre-Wedding Stage
6 Reckon You ll Bedecken ? A Creative Look at the Jewish Wedding Ceremony
Before the Ceremony
The Ceremony
After the Ceremony
Envisioning Your Wedding Ceremony
Other Considerations: Integrating Music and Readings
Wedding Programs
Special Considerations for Interfaith Couples
Special Considerations for Gay and Lesbian Couples
Gay and Lesbian Marriage
Family Dynamics and Your Wedding Ceremony
7 Party On! Thinking Creatively about Jewish Food and Other Reception Choices
Wedding Delicacies
Wedding Menus
Music for Your Wedding Party
Beyond Music: The Mitzvah of Making Merry
Envisioning Your Wedding Party
Family Dynamics and Your Wedding Party
8 Something Oldish, Something Newish, Something Borrowed, Something Jewish: More Ritual Objects, D cor, and Clothing Ideas for Your Wedding
Enhance Your Wedding with Surprising Finds
Ritual Objects Associated with the Ceremony
Infusing Other Wedding Items with Jewish Meaning
The Ritual of Wedding Dress
Incorporating Tzedakah into Your Wedding
9 Have It Your Way: Final Advice for Creating the Wedding You Desire
Wedding-Planning Goals
Visualization
Affirmations
Final Thoughts
Appendix I: Books and Online Resources
Websites
Books
Appendix II: Wedding Planning
Timeline
Wedding Task Checklist
Creating a Wedding Website
Appendix III: Alternative Sheva Brachot
Index
About Jewish Lights
Copyright
Foreword
Some couples make their relationship look easy, but the best marriages require hard work. These are the relationships to emulate. Love is not something that should ever be taken for granted; it constantly has to be nurtured and expressed. When I work with couples who are anticipating marriage, I remind them that while most partnerships are a fifty/fifty arrangement with lots of give and take, marriage demands that each partner be prepared to give much more than he or she expects to receive in return. It is in that giving of love, in placing the needs of one s partner-rather than one s own needs-in the forefront, that a person receives the gifts of a marriage in return.
Marriage is a sacred trust held by two people as they together navigate their individual lives and mold them into a shared life shaped by the celebrations and pleasures, as well as bumps and bruises, that are part of every marriage. At its best, a marriage reflects the covenant established between the individual and God many years ago at Sinai, what the philosopher Martin Buber idealized as the I-Thou relationship. As a result, it can be said that marriage is divine in origin and that God plays a distinctive role in the relationship between two partners. In its most physical enactment, one loses the self in the other, if only momentarily, as a way of approximating the mystical notion that these two souls were once equal parts of the same soul separated at birth into two individuals. Through the marital relationship, these souls recombine to become two halves of one whole. Such sentiments and more come together in the myriad rituals and symbols known best as the Jewish wedding ceremony. While the ceremony may differ somewhat even in the traditional Jewish community depending on the background of the participants (this is especially true between Ashkenazim and Sephardim), what really makes the ceremony all the more challenging-whether for the officiant or the couple getting married-is that all these competing and complementary ideas are collapsed into a ritual that is only twenty to thirty minutes long.
In order to construct a ceremony that would be the pivotal event in the life of any couple, the Rabbis determined that the wedding ceremony should be more than an acknowledgment of marriage as the physical joining together of two individuals. Th