What Your Counselor Never Told You

William Backus Dr.

Description

Discover the Power to Be a Better ChristianDr. William Backus the respected clinical psychologist and author of Telling Yourself the Truth, returns with a groundbreaking book examining how sin is the basis of many common emotional and psychological disorders. Revealing the untold story of why we act how we act, the book is sure to join of the ranks of Christian counseling classics. What Your Counselor Never Told You is a detailed look at the causes of various character traits and the reasons behind the actions we take. It is both a tool to help you overcome sin in your life, and a handbook for self-examination to lead a purer life. The book explains how the sin our lives affects our daily actions and even our character traits. Ideal for self-use or by trained, counselors, What Your Counselor Never Told You takes the position that spiritual health goes hand-in-hand with mental and emotional health. It puts readers on the right road to recovery.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 septembre 2000
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781585588879
• Langue: English

Extrait

© 2000 by William Backus
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan. www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2012
Ebook corrections 11.13.2013
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright owners.
ISBN 978-1-58558-887-9
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible. Copyright 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.
Scripture quotations identified KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations identified NIV are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION ® . Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved. The “NIV” and “New International Version” trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.
Cover by Kochel Peterson & Associates
To Thomas J. Kiresuk, Ph.D.:
Director, NIH-funded Center for Addiction and
Alternative Medicine Research
Minneapolis Medical Research Foundation;
Chief Clinical Psychologist
Hennepin County Medical Center;
Professor of Clinical Psychology
University of Minnesota Medical School;
Director, Program Evaluation Resource Center
Minneapolis Medical Research Foundation
His lifelong fascination with the Seven Deadly Sins as psychological traits sparked my interest; his knowledge and research skills undergirded my work; without his generous gifts of time and teaching, this book never would have been written.
Acknowledgments

It is my pleasure to acknowledge the valuable assistance of all those who contributed to the development of the Sin Test and to this book about sin and psychopathology.
Thanks are due especially to:
Tom Kiresuk, Ph.D., to whom this book is dedicated, and who helped me in more ways than I can possibly enumerate;
The Wheat Ridge Foundation, whose material support enabled this research;
The Reverend Edward May, Executive Director of the Wheat Ridge Foundation at the time this research was done;
All those students, staff, and patients who willingly served as test subjects;
Milton Rudnick, Th.D., who when the going got rough supplied solace and located numerous student volunteers;
Paul Mauger, Ph.D., Zigrids Stelmachers, Ph.D., and Seymour Gross, Ph.D., for their assistance and encouragement;
Paul Meehl, Ph.D., who taught me trait theory;
Robert Sherman, Ph.D., who supplied statistical consultation and assistance;
Christopher Soderstrom, the editor who worked hard to improve things while supplying enormous amounts of reinforcement along the way;
Gary and Carol Johnson and the many employees at Bethany House Publishers who are so skilled at the care and feeding of authors.
Contents

Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments

Introduction:
Sick or Sinful?
Chapter One:
Taking Sin Seriously
Chapter Two:
Pride The Root of the Root Sins
Chapter Three:
Envy The Sin That Promises Nothing Good
Chapter Four:
Anger Wrong or Right? When and How?
Chapter Five:
Greed Falling in Love With Possessions
Chapter Six:
Sloth Depression or Laziness? Sickness or Sin?
Chapter Seven:
Lust What It Promises and What It Delivers
Chapter Eight:
Gluttony Selling Out to Pleasure
Appendix One:
Taking and Scoring the Sin Test
Appendix Two:
The Sin Test and Psychopathology
Appendix Three:
More History of the Seven Deadly Sins

About the Author
Books by Dr. Backus
Back Cover
[Poem not included because of rights restrictions.]
Introduction

Sick or Sinful?
Sandy * consulted me for treatment of her painful feelings. “I don’t love my husband. I can’t stand living with him any longer! I feel terribly depressed. I think I’m going to have some kind of breakdown. Can you help me? I’m so upset.”
“Sandy, can you tell me what’s troubling you?” I asked.
“I really need something for my depression. I’m so stressed I can hardly function, especially at home. But I don’t want a full-blown psychoanalysis,” she added.
She was clearly feeling disturbed, but she also seemed functional. I asked her to go back to the beginning, to recount the history of her distressing situation.
“Do we really have to go into the past? I feel terrible now. ”
“I understand, and I know it’s difficult for you to do this. But I want to help, and I need to learn all about your relationship with your husband if I am to be of assistance to you.”
Reluctantly she reviewed the story of her marriage, making it obvious that she was in a hurry to get to the point: She wanted out. It was so awful she couldn’t bear it for another day. She’d done her part, but the results she desired hadn’t come and she was ready to call it quits.
Sometimes patients want their therapist to give them permission to do things they aren’t sure are right. Was this Sandy’s goal? Was I supposed to help her pull the plug and make the break? Would she skip over the positive aspects of the history so that I would tell her what she wanted to hear? I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea; instead, I resolved to listen without prejudice. To do so, I needed to slow her down, to encourage her to share details that would shed light on the big picture.
I learned that Sandy and Jason had been high-school sweethearts. She had noticed the boy with the bluest eyes she had ever seen on the first day of her French class, junior year. Did he notice her? She thought he might; most boys did. And more than a few kept noticing; Jason was one of them. When after class the next day he came up beside her as they walked to the lunchroom, she felt a little thrill in the pit of her stomach.
“Didn’t I see you at the church I visited last Sunday?” he asked. “Up toward the front on the right side?”
“Maybe, but I didn’t see you. You must have left early.”
“Yeah, I had to go before the benediction. I wanted to visit my grandma in the hospital, and I had to catch a ride. She’s really sick. The doc says she may not pull through. I love her so much.”
It seemed to Sandy that she had never talked to a boy with such a compassionate heart, such a compelling voice. Where has he been? she wondered. He seemed to be more caring than the other boys she had known. She thought about him a long time that day, and she could hardly wait until third period the next morning. She decided they would get to know each other better.
(As Sandy rehearsed all this for me, her expression changed as memories of the time when the flame of love burned brightly came back, and she recaptured momentarily some of the old feelings. Depression? That had been her initial complaint. I kept listening, almost certain that Sandy’s difficulty was something else.)
“Hey!” he hailed her.
“Hey!” she tried to sound casual, tried not to let him see how strongly he attracted her.
“I’m Jason Jason Stabler.”
“My name is Sandy Sorenson,” she replied, happy but not surprised that this model specimen of youth should be interested in her. She really was smitten with Jason. His looks were striking, but what she liked most were his winning charm, his vibrant personality, and his affectionate tenderness. As their relationship grew stronger, she felt that Jason was a boy who would put her needs first, ahead of his own. Even her mom thought he was a dream come true. And she didn’t worry about it when her dad complained about his being somewhat lazy, having little ambition, and not showing much interest in what he would do with his life after they graduated in two years. That was just Daddy he was always a bit critical of the guys she brought home. She was sure Jason had a bright future, and she liked the idea of being alongside him in it. She was certain he would do whatever it took to please her.
So they fell in love and were married shortly after graduation. Both too immature to marry, they believed firmly that their love would conquer all. Two years later a baby girl was born. But now Sandy began to notice a trickle of worry floating on the margin of her stream of thought, way out on the edge. Gradually, her concerns multiplied. They were short of money, sometimes to the point where rent payments had to wait. Why had she and Jason not even considered how they would make it on Jason’s near-poverty-line income? She imagined she’d just taken for granted that he would step out of school into a fine career. But he didn’t seem to mind being a retail clerk in a big discount store. Sandy had assumed that Jason would display the same restless ambition to advance that she had seen in her father. Now it appeared that Jason would never be capable of supporting a woman with Sandy’s ideals about the good life. They had planned for her to stay home and give all her attention to the children, but they had also expected that Jason would be promoted rapidly into the upper echelons of company management. It hadn’t happened, and as they fell further and further behind, Sandy decided she had to get a job.
“Sandy, honey, it will only be for a short time until we get ‘caught up.’ Meantime, I bet your Mom would love to watch Katie while you’re at work. I’ll be getting a raise soon it’s overdue,” Jason promised, assuring her of his love. But as it turned out, expected raises came less often than they had hoped, and there was no way the Stablers could get along on Jason’s income alone. T