Another Mother

Sarah Gerstenzang

Description

One night after midnight social workers brought a baby girl to the author's home, and her life as a foster mother began. A social worker herself, Gerstenzang discovered that raising Cecilia, despite all the personal joys, would be a complex and frustrating process of "co-parenting" with the foster care system in New York City. Foster parents are in great demand, but they are not necessarily treated well. We follow the author through the home visits, the Early Intervention evaluation, the WIC program that (with much bureaucratic hassle) provides free formula and cereal, and the mandatory parenting training sessions. She comments, "When Michael and I became foster parents, we learned how stigmatizing, demoralizing, and just plain inconvenient and time-consuming being part of the 'unentitled' population can be. With the exception of Early Intervention, we often felt that the programs were more concerned with regulating our behavior than with providing services."

Regular meetings with the birth family were also part of the process. Not only were they awkward for all concerned, but each visit involved a commute of several hours. One social worker admitted that she preferred a foster parent who didn't work because that person could more easily comply with the time-consuming regulations. Sarah and her husband Michael also agonize over complying with special regulations about hiring babysitters or traveling ("anytime we left New York State we needed to ask the agency's permission, which in turn had to get the signed consent from the birth mother").

Central to Another Mother is the issue of transracial placement. Sarah remembers, "That first day the contrast between my pale skin and Cecilia's brown skin seemed glaring. Not only did I feel that I had someone else's child, I felt that I had a child from another culture. Would I owe someone an explanation?" (Gerstenzang is recalling the 1972 opposition of the National Association of Black Social Workers.) Her account is full of anecdotes and reflections about race: acceptance and prejudice from others; the feelings of her two children about having a sibling of a different race; and culture keeping, beginning with skin and hair care.

Sujets

• Vie de famille
• Parentalité et Éducation des Enfants
• Relations familiales
• Social Science
• Sociologie, société et politique
• Sociology
• Discrimination

Informations

• Publié par: Vanderbilt University Press
• Date de parution: 19 mars 2007
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780826592231
• Langue: English

Extrait

CoParenting with the Foster Care System

S A R A H G E R S T E N Z A N G

Anoter Moter Co-parenting wit te Foster Care System

Sara Gerstenzang

Vanderbilt University Press Nasville

©  Vanderbilt University Press All rigts reserved First Edition 

Printed on acid-free paper. Manufactured in te United States of America Designed by Gary Gore

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Gerstenzang, Sara. Anoter moter : co-parenting wit te foster care system / Sara Gerstenzang.—st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliograpical references and index. ISBN-: ---- (clot : alk. paper) ISBN-: ---- (pbk. : alk. paper) . Foster parents—United States—Biograpy. . Foster moters—United States—Biograpy. . Foster cildren—United States. . Foster ome care—United States. . Adopted cildren—United States. I. Title. HQ..G  .’—dc 

To Emma, Lily, and Sam

Contents

 Acknowledgments  Foreword by Madelyn Freundlic 1 “Become a Foster Parent: Help a Cild” 2 And Baby Makes Five? 3 Help, American-Style 4 I’m Vanilla, You’re Cocolate 5 Attacment: Meeting te Eyes of Love  Eye of te Storm 7 Transition 8 he End of te Beginning

References Index

ix xi 1 21 59 93 118 138 165 187

195 199

Acknowledgments

his book is about families. I could not ave written it witout elp from mine. My usband, Micael, was tere for me in every way—encouraging me, listening and responding to ideas, reading drafts, and taking over te parenting on many Saturdays so tat I could work on tis project. My sister, Elisabet Seffield, taugt me about writing and about ow to put a book togeter. And my broter-in-law, Jon Allen, encouraged me to begin tis project and provided me wit editing and advice along te way. I am grateful too to my moter, Patricia Ackerman, wo read te manu- script and provided encouragement and to my sister, Stepanie Seffield, and my broter-in-law, Jeffrey DeSell, wo provided love and support.  here are a number of oters I am indebted to wo read te manuscript and provided me wit generous feedback and sup- port: Madelyn Freundlic, Jennine Meyer, Leslee Morris, Emily Fenicel, Peggy Porter Tierney, Evelyn Rotbard, Regina Diel, Debora Dentler, and Alexandra Lowe. And Emily Berger, wo provided muc encouragement over many cups of coffee.  Finally, I tank my editor at Vanderbilt University Press, Mi- cael Ames, for is entusiastic support.

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