How to De-Stress Your Life

L. Jantz Gregory

Description

Anyone who has ever experienced physical or emotional fatigue as a result of our frantic modern world will welcome this practical and hopeful book. Dr. Gregory L. Jantz shows readers how to change the debilitating patterns of the past, leaving the road clear for a healthy and revitalized future. How to De-Stress Your Life is filled with exercises, checklists, and potential situations designed to guide readers into a probing self-examination to pave the way to renewed physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

Sujets

• Sociologie, société et politique

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 août 2008
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441235299
• Langue: English

Extrait

© 1998 by Gregory L. Jantz
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
Spire edition published 2008
Previously published under the title Becoming Strong Again
Ebook edition created 2011
Ebook corrections 03.23.2017
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher and copyright owners. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, D.C.
ISBN 978-1-4412-3529-9
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ®. NIV ®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.© Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture marked TLB is taken from The Living Bible, copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked RSV is taken from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1952 [2nd edition 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
To protect the privacy of those involved, names have been changed in all the stories used in this book.
Contents

Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Acknowledgments
1. Coming Apart at the Seams
2. The Long Journey from Darkness to Light
3. The Poisons of Anger, Fear, and Guilt
4. Forgiveness: The Path to True Intimacy
5. Removing the Ghosts from Your Past
6. Self-Care: Eight Secrets for Finding All the Energy You’ll Ever Need
7. Six Disciplines for Eliminating Self-Defeating Attitudes
8. The Joy of Confident Living
9. Living Right-Side Up in an Upside-Down World
10. Staying Emotionally Strong in a Stress-Filled World
Appendix
Suggested Healthy Eating
Vitamins and Health
Notes
About the Author
Other Books by Gregory Jantz
Back Cover
Acknowledgments
I would like to give heartfelt thanks to the co-creator of this book, Robert C. Larson. Bob helped me work through each of the issues presented here—from the earliest note taking through to the completed manuscript. Bob’s skills go far beyond writing; he also brings tremendous wisdom and insight into the entire creative process. This book is a remarkable endeavor that could only have been accomplished through the mutual sharing of our hearts. Bob has been my faithful sidekick throughout, and I am deeply grateful.
I also owe a great debt of gratitude to my wife, LaFon, who faithfully stood by me as I struggled through my own period of recovering from emotional exhaustion.
I want to acknowledge all of you who over the years have faithfully encouraged others. Professional counselors and friends with a listening ear, you are the cement that helps hold so much together. Thank you for who you are and for what you do.
To those who struggle with emotional exhaustion and have picked up this book, you have taken a courageous step toward your better future.
I’m also grateful to my colleagues who give generously and passionately from their hearts each day to the vision and work of The Center for Counseling and Health Resources, Inc. You are people who know and live what Bob and I have written of in this book—that we really all can find inner healing.
I’d also like to thank the men and women who’ve given me the privilege of working and journeying with them and who have been so honest and revealing in sharing their struggles. They are the true heroes of this book as they’ve told their stories of how they are regaining control of their lives. They’ve shown us again and again that their pain has not been in vain.
Thanks to my editors William J. Petersen and Linda Holland for their passion and belief in this project, the second book to be published with Revell. Without Bill’s vision, persistence, and encouragement, this book would not have seen the light of day. Because of his commitment to this project, many people from all walks of life will find the courage to do what it takes to become strong again. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, Linda, for your enormous editing skills. You gave the manuscript your skillful, creative touch. A big thanks to Lois Stück who also put the finishing touch on my previous book Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse. Lois knows how to polish and shine!
Most of all, we thank our Creator for the built-in resilience we all have to become strong again—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
1
Coming Apart at the Seams
Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, on the back of his head behind Christopher Robin. It is, as far as he knows, the only way of coming downstairs, but sometimes he feels there really is another way, if only he could stop bumping for a moment and think about it.
A. A. Milne Winnie the Pooh
D an was a success in every sense of the word. To the average observer this young man had already achieved everything most people think they might want: comfortable home, loving wife, some modest investments that were starting to work—all neatly wrapped in an obsessive, insatiable need to work ten to twelve hours a day in a job where he listened to people spill their guts, share their dreams, confess their iniquities, and plead for his help. Dan was good at providing that help—that was the problem. He was, perhaps, too good, too skilled. So good, in fact, that he felt he was indispensable, a kind of “father confessor” to a growing congregation of the needy. So he kept counseling and counseling, seeing as many as twelve people a day. He had to be there. His people needed him—and so did the state-run halfway house he managed.
Between sessions Dan would eat junk food, make a fast phone call, do some quick paperwork, push himself to the limit, see more people, and fall in bed exhausted at midnight. The next day it was the same routine. His output was incredible. No one could outwork him. Dan was a man with a mission to be the best and the brightest. He didn’t know it, but he was also bent on self-destruction.
Instead of honest sweat on a treadmill at the local gym, Dan ran on an unhealthy emotional treadmill that demanded he meet the expectations of others. Yes, I’d be glad to see you. . . . Of course, I can work you in. No problem, I can skip lunch today and see you at, say, 1:15? . . . What’s that? Saturday? I don’t think that will be a problem. I was going to be in the office anyway.
Perhaps it’s best to let Dan tell the story in his own words:
“I was strong physically and mentally. I knew I was pushing the envelope with the intensity of my work at the halfway house, but I was confident—stubbornly cocky might be a better way to say it—that I could make a success of it, even though I was counseling people with the same tendencies toward burning the candle at both ends while I looked for creative ways to burn it in the middle also. I lived in full denial that I, too, might have a problem.
“Then, as it happens with so many people, I crossed that invisible line between living a whole, healthy life and what I would probably now call ‘temporary insanity.’ Not in the clinical sense, perhaps, but certainly a life that was out of control to the point of not knowing who I was, where I was, or what I was doing.
“I started drinking on weekends. Not much at first; just enough to take away the tension. The alcohol numbed my hurts, even as it numbed my spirit. I had crossed the line.
“I had once been regular at church but now had quit. My friends assumed I’d dropped off the face of the earth. If it hadn’t been for my wife, who hung in there with me, there’s no telling what might have happened. I assigned her as the ‘designated worshiper,’ while I stayed home and drank. It became obvious to me later that she had her own needs, and her presence in a house of worship eventually became the turning point in her own life and relationship with God.
“I quit exercising—something I’d enjoyed for years. I stopped running, let the bicycles gather dust, put on a paunch, and didn’t even care. I quit paying attention to what was important in my life, and I wasn’t prepared to accept responsibility for my deteriorating condition. It had to be my circumstances, my work load, unfair people, the government . . . my blame list was endless. The only problem with my list was that my name wasn’t on it. Big mistake.
“I became hypervigilant—a time bomb ticking off the minutes until it explodes. I couldn’t concentrate, and that’s when the depression began to set in. Everything about my life became distorted: I evaluated things as either completely good or totally bad and would either magnify or minimize the significance of an event. Perspective and a sense of balance had gone out the window.
“We no longer invited friends over to visit. Our once active social life went to zero. All the time, I kept drinking—not just on weekends, but now every night. Still, I was able to maintain the same hectic schedule of seeing people with similar problems. In a crazy sort of way I was probably even more effective in helping them through their challenges. After all, I could relate.
“However, I was becoming more isolated and aloof. I certainly wanted to escape, but I didn’t know how. I was slowly deteriorating in body and soul, perched on the precarious edge of emotional exhaustion. My marriage stayed together because my wife never left me, although it was an option she had many reasons to choose. We were two well-educated, sincere young people who were putting ourselves through a refining, fiery furnace of chaos that would ultimately help shape us into t