Lights Out in the Attic

Judi Schram

Description

"Lights Out in the Attic" is a lighthearted, humorous and, at times, poignant look at aging for women of the boomer generation. Author Judi Schram believes that as we all inevitably go through this aging process, the best way to do it is together, and with laughter. Chapters include: Body Parts, Memory, Doctors, Marriage, Family and Friends. Each poem is accompanied by a delightful illustration by talented artist Ellen Rontal. This is a great tabletop book for stolen pick-me-up moments, as well as a perfect gift for a fellow boomer.

Sujets

• Sociologie, société et politique
• Psychology
• Humour

Informations

• Publié par: First Edition Design Publishing
• Date de parution: 25 août 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781622879427
• Langue: English

Extrait

Written by Judi Schram
Illustrated by Ellen Rontal
Lights Out In The Attic

Copyright ©2015 Judi Schram

ISBN 978 - 1622-879-41-0 PRINT
ISBN 978-1622-879-42-7 EBOOK

LCCN 2015943990

June 2015

Published and Distributed by
First Edition Design Publishing, Inc.
P.O. Box 20217, Sarasota, FL 34276-3217
www . firsteditiondesignpublishing.com

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part ofthis book publication may be reproduced,
stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means -
electronic, mechanical , photo-copy, recording, or any other - except brief
quotation in reviews, without the prior permission of the author or publisher.
Dedicated to my cherished cheering section:

My dear husband Brad
My poetry consultant Zack
My tech consultant Justin
My support team Ali and Danny
My sweet sister Linda
My inspiring friend Andi
My dear friend and illustrator Ellen Rontal
A special dedication to my dad, Fred Rapoport,
my biggest supporter and role model
Table of Contents

PART ONE - Body Parts
Lights Out in the Attic
Body Parts
Cellulite
The Middle
Bathing Suit Shopping
Chinny Chin Chin
Hairy
The Stripe
Bad Hair Day
Victoria's Secret Models
Arms
Best Foot Forward
Menopause
The Night Owl
Gotta Go
Nighttime Activity
Make Up
Sizes
Spanx
Too Old
A Glimpse Into the Future?
Magic Eraser

PART TWO - Memory
Glasses
The Word War
Where Is My Cell Phone?
I Hope I Didn’t Throw It Out
Names
What Am I Doing Here?
Home From the Market
Big Trouble

PART THREE – Weight, Diets and Exercise
Healthy Food
One Pound, Two Pounds
Cravings
The Scale
Diets
Exercise
No Time
Yoga

PART FOUR - Doctors
Doctors
The Adjustment
The Prescription
The Mammogram
The Derm
Visit to the Plastic Surgeon

PART FIVE - Technology
Too Many Buttons
Tech Impaired
Computeritis
Help!
The Phone Call
Texting
Facebook
Siri
Infomercials
Telemarketer
Passwords
iLove

PART SIX - Friends
Modern Communication
Posing
At the Restaurant
Desserts
Gossip
Can't Play Mahj Today
It Takes a Village
Only Your Best Friend

PART SEVEN - Marriage
The Remote
Man Cave
What?
Patience
Bedtime
I Remember

PART EIGHT - Family
Forever Mothers
Moms and Dads
Our Children
Empty Nesting
Waiting
Joyful Noise
Early Childhood
Car Seats
Child Proof
Sandwich Generation
Full Circle
PART ONE - Body Parts
Lights Out in the Attic

My brain is less facile
than it used to be
I can't find my keys,
and names just escape me.

My car in the parking lot
moves on its own .
Which friend of mine ca l led?
And I can't find my phone!

It's almost as though my
head is full of static.
Is that what they mean by
"Lights Out in the Attic"?
Body Parts

Things creak in the morning.
They collapse late at night .
And all day in between
they just don't work right!

Certain parts ache
(a sore muscle here) .
Others parts hurt
(a nerve pinching there) .

Eyes that don't see well
while driving at night.
Oh how we long for
our once-perfect Sight!

Ears that don't hear well ,
what is all that static?
It's the damned hearing aid ...

I've really just had it !
But then there's that sunrise ,
my sweet sister's smile ,
the kiss of my sweetheart ,
the laugh of a child .

All body - part failings
(which is how I see'em) ,
just fade t o the background
as I carpe diem.
Cellulite

Help! I'm being overtaken by cellulite,
cellulite, cellulite.
I'm being overtaken by cellulite
and I don't like it one bit.

Oh no,
it's on my toe.

I'm rankled,
it's up to my ankle.

Oh geez,
it got to my knees.

Please advise,
it's all over my thighs.

Oh flumox,
it invaded my stomach.