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Publié par | Troubador Publishing Ltd |
Date de parution | 29 avril 2014 |
Nombre de lectures | 0 |
EAN13 | 9781783065639 |
Langue | English |
Informations légales : prix de location à la page 0,0200€. Cette information est donnée uniquement à titre indicatif conformément à la législation en vigueur.
Extrait
Mindful Goal Setting: A Smarter Approach
A Programme Based on the Psychology of Happiness
Genuine progress can be made only by discovering the right balance between action and reflection
Caroline Macrory and Jenna Mayhew
Copyright © 2014 Caroline Macrory and Jenna Mayhew
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study,
or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents
Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in
any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the
publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with
the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries
concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.
All characters and events and actions are fictional
and no similarities are intended or implied.
All locations are real but addresses are fictional
Matador ®
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Wistow Road, Kibworth Beauchamp,
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Tel: (+44) 116 279 2299
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Email: books@troubador.co.uk
Web: www.troubador.co.uk/matador
ISBN 978 1783065 639
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Matador ® is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd
Converted to eBook by EasyEPUB
“Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage but simply because they have never organised their energies around a goal” – Elbert Hubbard
Contents
Cover
INTRODUCTION
GETTING STARTED WITH MINDFULNESS
1. SETTING MEANINGFUL GOALS
2. DEVELOPING AN ACTION PLAN
3. MOTIVATION AND COMMITMENT
4. BEING PREPARED – MANAGING SETBACKS
5. USING MINDFULNESS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR GOAL
6. THE FEEDBACK LOOP
7. REACHING YOUR GOAL – WHAT NEXT?
CONCLUSION
BIBLIOGRAPHY
INTRODUCTION
“ Man is a goal-seeking animal. His life only has meaning if he is reaching out and striving for his goals ” – Aristotle
As far back as 300 BCE, Aristotle identified goals as being the cornerstone of a meaningful and fulfilling life.
Over 2000 years later, author and motivational speaker Robert H Schuller echoed this sentiment by saying: “ Goals are not only absolutely necessary to motivate us. They are essential to really keep us alive.”
The idea that goal setting can be a powerful, inspiring and fulfilling process has certainly stood the test of time. So why exactly are goals so significant?
• Firstly, goals can bring genuine meaning and direction to our lives. They can become powerful motivators driving us to follow our true passions and make positive changes.
• Secondly, the goal setting process satisfies a range of natural inclinations that are essential to the human psyche, including a sense of continual growth, development and advancement in our lives.
Ultimately, it can be argued that goal setting plays a crucial role in obtaining true happiness. As George Bernard Shaw pointed out, “ the real pleasure of one’s life is the devotion to a great objective of one’s consideration .”
THE PROBLEM WITH GOALS
Despite the substantial benefits of setting goals, studies are fairly unanimous in their findings: a significant number of people find it near impossible to accomplish them. In many cases, up to 90% of people won’t reach the goals they set themselves.
In one study, psychologist Richard Wiseman tracked over 3000 people attempting to achieve a range of resolutions. One year later, only 12% of people had actually achieved their goals.
Most people know the common ground rules for setting goals and reaching them – be specific, write it down, track your progress, be disciplined and consistent. So why is it so difficult to put these simple steps into practice? Studies suggest that those who have failed to reach their goal have often over-emphasised one of the following:
• focusing on the negative things that would happen if they failed to reach their goal
• focusing on someone else who has achieved a similar goal
• fantasising about how great their life would be when they reached their goal
• not writing down their goals or making a specific plan
• relying on willpower alone to make changes
• feeling disheartened and giving up after a relapse or a setback – viewing it as a personal failure rather than a chance to learn from the experience.
Adam has wanted a car for several months. He tries to save as much money as he can from his paycheck each week, but always finds he’s left with nothing.
He is frustrated at his lack of progress. Sometimes he spends more than he should on a night out with his friends, leaving him feeling guilty afterwards; other times he’s just not sure where his money has gone.
He worries that he’ll never reach his goal and will be stuck using public transport or relying on his friends. Everyone he knows seems to have a decent car, and although he earns a little less than most of his friends, he wonders why he can’t get his act together. He feels certain that his life will be so much easier if he had a car – the desire is there, so why is this not enough to get him to his goal?
Adam starts researching goal setting, and finds a programme that promises that he’ll reach more of his goals in a shorter time that he ever thought possible. Adam follows the programme diligently. He picks up extra work, stops going out with his friends, and stops having dinners out with his girlfriend, replacing them with movie nights in together. He also starts to put his savings into a separate bank account as soon as he gets paid. Adam starts feeling exhilarated, and he can’t wait to reach his goal.
THE STANDARD APPROACH: FOCUSING ON OUTCOMES
Perhaps as a response to such widespread difficulties in reaching goals, an entire field has developed around goal setting. Unfortunately, the advice and approaches from the goal setting industry can be narrow and many of the suggestions offered by the media and self-help experts are ineffective.
With some exceptions, most goal-related studies to date have examined how people can achieve the greatest objective outcomes, without considering the impact on emotional wellbeing. Chances are that you have heard of SMART goals. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-Bound. This acronym is often used in workplace settings to help an individual set and reach goals.
SMART goals are important, but when applied to personal goals they have glaring limitations. They are spurred on by a workplace ethos, where there is a tendency to focus on maximum efficiency and motivation, with little regard for the individual’s wellbeing.
In fact, far from being a one-dimensional process that can be measured by success or failure, the thoughts, behaviours and emotions that are associated with goal setting are crucial. They not only impact on your chances of meeting your current goal, but on what goals you set next, how likely you are to reach them, and how you feel about yourself both throughout the goal journey.
Whilst striving for his car, Adam starts to feel negative about some other areas of his life. He doesn’t really enjoy his job any more and things are rocky with his girlfriend. He’s missed a few birthday celebrations with his friends and a weekend away with everyone. All his friends are still talking about it. The more miserable he feels, the more convinced he becomes that when he finally buys his new car he will start to feel more confident, successful and happy. He dreams of cruising around town with his friends and spontaneously taking his girlfriend on weekends away.
THE CONNECTION BETWEEN WELLBEING AND GOAL SETTING
Setting goals is great. Reaching them is even better. When you aim high, work hard and achieve a goal (if it’s the right one), it can be exhilarating. This feeling of achievement feeds into a sense of mastery, which in turn builds confidence and self-esteem. It means you are more likely to challenge yourself again and reach your next goal. And so begins a wonderful positive cycle of personal development, self-growth and achievement.
However, more and more people are finding that reaching their goal is actually followed by an emotional lull rather than an emotional high. The following are common experiences after reaching a goal:
• a sense of anti-climax
• a feeling that the attainment of the goal has not delivered the satisfaction or the happiness that was anticipated
• responding to the above feelings by losing interest and returning to previous behaviour
• in relation to changing behaviour (such as reaching a goal weight), the ‘maintenance’ phase is experienced as dull and de-motivating, often leading to relapse
• an immediate focus is placed on the next goal, without enjoying the achievement of the current goal.
Eventually Adam reaches his goal: he has enough money put aside to buy the car he wants, so he makes the necessary arrangements to purchase it. At first, he loves his car and drives his friends around proudly. He basks in the glow of his achievement.
However, this feeling is short-lived. A few weeks later, Adam’s relationship hasn’t improved and he is still having a hard time at work. Adam starts to notice old feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy creeping back in.
The challenge of working towards a goal is often more exciting than achieving the goal. A person can become so caught up in the journey that once they arrive at the destination it is hard to know what to do next. They may either –
• feel disappointed and revert to old behaviour, or
• start to look for the next goal .
As soon as a person reaches their goal, the goal posts move, trapping that person in a cycle of always searching for more .
Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with striving for any particular goal. Working hard to buy a lo