Summary of Guy Winch's Emotional First Aid

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Rejections are the most common emotional wounds we suffer in life. We experience them when we are turned down by potential dates, refused by potential employers, and snubbed by potential friends.
#2 Rejections can cause four distinct psychological wounds, the severity of which depends on the situation and our emotional health at the time. When the rejections we experience are substantial, the urgency of treating our wounds with emotional first aid is far greater.
#3 Rejections, whether they be emotional or physical, hurt far more than most other negative emotions because they are so rare. They are so painful because they are a reminder of how easily we can be ostracized from society.
#4 The same brain regions are activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. Remarkably, the two systems are so closely linked that when scientists gave people acetaminophen before putting them through the dastardly ball-tossing rejection experiment, they reported significantly less emotional pain than people who were not given a pain reliever.

Sujets

• Emotions

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 25 mars 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 1
• EAN13: 9781669364627
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Guy Winch's Emotional First Aid
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4 Insights from Chapter 5 Insights from Chapter 6 Insights from Chapter 7 Insights from Chapter 8
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Rejections are the most common emotional wounds we suffer in life. We experience them when we are turned down by potential dates, refused by potential employers, and snubbed by potential friends.

#2

Rejections can cause four distinct psychological wounds, the severity of which depends on the situation and our emotional health at the time. When the rejections we experience are substantial, the urgency of treating our wounds with emotional first aid is far greater.

#3

Rejections, whether they be emotional or physical, hurt far more than most other negative emotions because they are so rare. They are so painful because they are a reminder of how easily we can be ostracized from society.

#4

The same brain regions are activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. Remarkably, the two systems are so closely linked that when scientists gave people acetaminophen before putting them through the dastardly ball-tossing rejection experiment, they reported significantly less emotional pain than people who were not given a pain reliever.

#5

Rejections are difficult to deal with, and they can even be difficult to understand. They affect our ability to use sound logic and think clearly, and they can even make us do things that we later regret.

#6

The risk of aggression following a rejection is not limited to walls and figurines. It can also lead to severe and untreated psychological wounds, which can lead to violence between romantic partners and school shootings.

#7

We often take rejections too personally and overgeneralize them, when in reality, they are rarely personal. We also tend to overcriticize ourselves following romantic rejections, when in reality, we have no grounds to do so.

#8

Rejections are painful enough as it is. We don’t need to add salt to our wounds by adding unnecessary and highly inaccurate self-recriminations.

#9

We are all born with a fundamental need to feel accepted by others. When our need to belong remains unsatisfied for extended periods of time, it can have a powerful and detrimental effect on our physical and psychological health.

#10

I met with David, who was about to start college, and he told me that he was terrified of being rejected by his new peers. He had spent years being alienated and lacked the social skills to handle common situations.

#11

I was extremely disappointed to hear that David had been rejected by his classmates again. I had been hoping that a small taste of social acceptance would help him feel better about himself, but if his classmates continued to avoid him, no one would sit next to him, and no one would talk with him.

#12

Rejections are inevitable, and they can be significant, reoccurring, or both. In such situations, the risk of leaving our emotional wounds unattended can be profound. But not all rejections require emotional first aid.

#13

Rejections can inflict four distinct emotional wounds, which can be treated in the following order: A (managing self-criticism), B (reviving self-worth), C (replenishing social connections), and D (lowering sensitivity).

#14

It is important to understand that we are all part of the problem and the solution when it comes to dealing with rejections. We must be self-kind and understanding of our own shortcomings when we evaluate our role in a rejection, as it can be extremely difficult to do so.

#15

When someone gives you the It’s not you, it’s me speech, believe them. The rejection will still hurt, but much less so than if you insist on spreading the salt of self-blame on an already painful wound.

#16

Rejections at work are not always a reflection on your character or job performance. They can be motivated by conforming to a negative or bullying corporate culture, acting out of ambition and rivalry, or making efforts to appeal to higher-ups and superiors.

#17

Our social circles can be the source of extremely painful rejections. They might reject us because we have outgrown them, or they might recognize we’ve outgrown them before we do.

#18

One way to help yourself recover from rejection is to remind yourself of your valuable traits. As an example, one attractive young woman I worked with would say aloud to her reflection in the mirror, Nope, it’s not you.

#19

The more the Yankees succeeded, the more eager David was to get to class and discuss the games with his classmates. He felt respected by his peers for the first time in his life.

#20

The following exercise will help you get in touch with your character and revitalize your feelings of self-worth. Make a list of five characteristics you value highly, and then rank them according to their importance to you.

#21

Rejection, whether physical or social, can be extremely painful. We should make efforts to overcome our fears and turn to our social networks for support. Social support is especially important following rejection, as it helps us regain our feelings of social connection.

#22

Our need to belong has some substitutability, which means that new relationships and memberships can psychologically replace those that have ended, if they provide a better fit for our personalities and interests.

#23

Social snacking can take many forms, but pictures of loved ones are one of the most emotionally nutritious snacks we can consume after being rejected.

#24

The more we’re exposed to situations that make us uncomfortable or unhappy, the more used to them we become and the less they affect us. This is known as desensitization, and it can be a helpful technique for reducing the emotional impact of rejections.

#25

If the rejection is profound or has been happening for a long period of time, you might benefit from seeing a mental health professional. If your emotional pain does not subside, and if engaging with people feels too risky, consult a mental health professional.