The DYNAMICS of YOU and the CHILD

Marti Eicholz

Description

"Every day as you guide and nourish, you have new chances to get things right, to sow seeds of love, acceptance, appreciation, encouragement and confidence."

Although the parent-child relationship is perhaps the most obvious example of care giving, opportunities for this type of support and guidance abound in everyday life. By taking time to reflect and consider our own childhoods, we may become better equipped to understand and relate to others–especially children–as they navigate their own unique challenges.

This learning experience explores techniques and guidance for doing just this. The first chapter outlines four parenting styles–both the strengths and weaknesses inherent to each–and considers how these natural tendencies can be leveraged and expanded to create an optimal child-rearing environment. By better understanding our own behaviors, we can achieve improved balance in our relationships with others.

Next, through a comprehensive list of children's common grievances, the author presents tactics that parents may use to identify sources of conflict, close these gaps and better relate to their children and their unique issues or needs. These skills are essential in parent-child relationships, but they may also be extended outward to create stronger interpersonal relationships more generally.

Working through our own childhood struggles can help us relate to others with more impact and grace. To this end, a guided meditation leads us through a series of reflections in which the reader is invited to revisit his or her own childhood and to confront any difficulties encountered there. By learning to evoke to our inner child, we may become better equipped to relate to all children. The meditation also makes us more aware of how our caregivers influenced us, and how we in turn might influence others.

Finally, we consider the components of a happy family–both what it means, and what it takes to achieve. The final chapter provides suggestions and clear guidelines for fostering a healthy family life, referring back to the personality types outlined earlier in the manuscript in order to create a cohesive scope and approach. Ultimately, the author contends, we all have a responsibility for each other, and learning how to skillfully navigate this challenge can result in a brighter, deeper and more fulfilling life for everyone.

Sujets

• Vie de famille
• Parentalité et Éducation des Enfants
• Sociologie, société et politique
• Training
• Psychology
• Education

Informations

• Publié par: eBookIt.com
• Date de parution: 09 octobre 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781456633851
• Langue: English

Extrait

The DYNAMICS of YOU and the CHILD
 
 
A handbook for parents and caregivers of the child, big or small
 
Marti Eicholz
Copyright 2019
All rights reserved.
Published by eBookIt.com
ISBN: 978-1-4566-3385-1
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
DEDICATION
This work is dedicated to YOU; you trusted me enough to share your life, your experience, and your wisdom.
It is also dedicated to all the women and men, the Caregivers, shouldering the momentous obligation of raising a child.
CONTENTS
DEDICATION
PREFACE
INTRODUCTION
Children Learn What They Live
A MIXED BAG OF TRAITS
MEET COMPETENT COMMANDER
MEET GREGARIOUS GABBER
MEET NATURAL NURTURER
MEET FOND FRETTER
THOUGHTS OF THE CHILD
GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER CHILD
REFLECTIONS
A HEALTHY FAMILY
CLEAR IDENTITIES
GOOD BOUNDARIES
LOYALTY
COMMUNICATION SKILLS
DISCIPLINE
PLAYING TOGETHER
SEEING SOMETHING THROUGH
SPIRITUAL BELIEFS
AFFECTION
DANGER SIGNS
SMALL STEPS FOR BIG CHANGES
CREATING A PERSONAL ACTION PLAN
REQUEST OF OTHERS
JOYS OF A HEALTHY FAMILY
PLEDGE
CONCLUSION
APPENDIX
Case Study: Matt Living in a High-Structure Setting
A Perspective on Mother-Daughter Relationships
Shining a Spotlight on Mother-Son Parenting
A Discussion on Fatherhood
Overview of Behavioral Tendencies
 
PREFACE
The most powerful force for change is a caring, loving human being.
Who is this person? Is it your biological mother or father? Or is it your teacher, a mentor or your minister? Maybe it’s the leader of your work or softball team. It could be the file clerk in the office or the neighbor down the street.
It’s the person who: takes an extra hour to talk to that kid about his life nurtures one back to mental, physical and emotional well-being organizes a group petitioning or calling City Hall about a dangerous curve in the road near your house and where they could save many lives by posting a danger sign recognizes morale dipping, rather than passing the buck, they take charge, evaluating various options and selects the course of action that brings the greatest good to the greatest number clips your father’s toe nails for him
Consider the ways in which you take responsible leadership roles—whether it’s in a nuclear family, on the job, in the community, or just within the sanctity of our own heart. These “parenting-type” actions are among the most noble and growth-enhancing of any that you engage in, encouraging you to express your very highest self.
You serve your true purpose in life when you choose to act out of kindness, compassion and love. This lifetime job is one you were born into; one you can never quit, or be fired from. And that is being a Caregiver to you, to others and to Earth, the beautiful living planet in the Universe, providing more than 7 billion humans with food and shelter.
This handbook serves as a key to open doors to the needs of children and those who surround them. Your highest duty in life is to maximize your potential and to help the surrounding people maximize theirs.
Note: This handbook refers to the words parent and caregiver interchangeably.
INTRODUCTION
The child is born with biological characteristics and much potential. These traits will blossom only in the right environment. Observations of behaviorist B. F. Skinner indicate that parents/caregivers influence social behavior in children by shaping their social environment.
The child is an extension of the environment that parents/caregivers create. Parents and caregivers are the mirror upon which a child’s psychological identity will be built.
Philosophers and advisors have much to say about the importance of environment in one’s life. Reflect a moment on what Dorothy Law Nolte so aptly wrote about the child.
Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
- Dorothy Law Nolte
 
Rene Dubos believed “Homo sapiens are not born with the attributes essential for a truly human life but rather with potentialities that enable them to become human. We become human only to the extent that we take advantage of opportunities.”
Kahlil Gibran wrote in The Prophet , “Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you, they belong not to you.”
Gibran also states: “You can give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have thoughts of their own. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”
Madeleine L’Engle wrote in A Circle of Quiet , “In our terror of becoming destructive Moms and Dads, we refuse to be parents at all. We abdicate parenthood and turn our responsibilities to strangers.” As a result, it becomes the responsibility of each and every stranger to be the caregiver, nurturing, guiding and inspiring the one left alone.
Quoting from Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, “ You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let the bending if the archer’s hand be for Gladness, for even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.” The single most valuable gift is self-esteem, treating the child with respect, dignity, and kindness.
Effective caregivers provide a positive, encouraging, stimulating setting that gives the child roots to grow and freedom to flower and develop the aspects of his or her nature that best bring out their unique talents.