Two in a Bed

Paul C. Rosenblatt

Description

Millions of adults sleep with another adult, but what does it mean to share a bed with someone else, and how does it affect a couple's relationship? What happens when one partner snores? Steals the sheets? Prefers to sleep in the nude? To address these and other questions, Paul C. Rosenblatt asked couples to describe the struggles, challenges, and achievements of their bed-sharing experiences. Two in a Bed includes interviews with more than forty bed-sharing couples as they candidly discuss winding down and waking up, cold feet and tucked sheets, who sleeps near the door and who gets pushed to the edge, snoring, spooning, sleep talking, sleep walking, and the myriad other behaviors we negotiate in falling asleep, staying asleep, and waking up each morning beside a partner. In addition to exploring the routines and realities of sharing a bed with another person, these interviews reveal important information about sleep, relationships, and American society. Stressing the intricacy and importance of a previously unremarked activity, Rosenblatt's Two in a Bed shows that sleep should no longer be viewed solely as an individual phenomenon.

Acknowledgments

1. Introduction

2. Forming the Couple System: Learning to Share a Bed

3. The Bed

4. Going to Bed

5. Activities in the Transition from Awake to Sleep

6. Temperature Preferences

7. Talking and Touching

8. Anger and the Couple Bed

9. Illness and Injury

10. How Can You Sleep So Soundly When I’m So Wide Awake?

11. Outside Intrusions into Couple Sleep

12. Bathroom Trips, Tossing and Turning, Restless Legs, Sleep Talking, Grinding Teeth, and Nightmares

13. Snoring and Sleep Apnea

14. Safety, Intimacy, and Why Couples Sleep Together

15. Waking Up in the Morning

16. Weekends

17. Everyday Life and the Couple System

Appendix
References
Index

Sujets

• Sociology
• Social work

Informations

• Publié par: State University of New York Press
• Date de parution: 01 février 2012
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780791481400
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Twoin The Socia a l System Bed of Couple Bed Sharing

Paul C. Rosenblatt

Two in a Bed

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Two in a Bed

the social system of couple bed sharing

Paul C. Rosenblatt

s t a t e u n i v e r s i t y o f n e w y o r k p r e s s

Published by State U n ive r s i ty of N ew Yor k P re s s Albany

© 2006 State University of New York

All rights reserved

Printed in the United States of America

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission. No part of this book may be stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means including electronic, electrostatic, magnetic tape, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise without the prior permission in writing of the publisher.

For information, address State University of New York Press 194 Washington Avenue, Suite 305, Albany, NY 12210-2384

Production, Laurie Searl Marketing, Fran Keneston

Library of Congress CataloginginPublication Data

Rosenblatt, Paul C. Two in a bed : the social system of couple bed sharing / Paul C. Rosenblatt. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-7914-6829-1 (hardcover : alk. paper) — ISBN 0-7914-6830-5 (pbk. : alk. paper) 1. Sleep—Social aspects. 2. Sleeping customs. 3. Interpersonal relations. 4. Couples. I. Title.

GT3000.3.R67 2006 306.4—dc22

ISBN-13: 978-0-7914-6829-6 (hardcover : alk. paper) ISBN-13: 978-0-7914-6830-2 (pbk. : alk. paper)

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

2005026824

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contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Forming the Couple System: Learning to Share a Bed

The Bed

Going to Bed

Activities in the Transition from Awake to Sleep

Temperature Preferences

Talking and Touching

Anger and the Couple Bed

Illness and Injury

How Can You Sleep So Soundly When I’m So Wide Awake?

Outside Intrusions into Couple Sleep

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T W O I N A B E D

Bathroom Trips, Tossing and Turning, Restless Legs, Sleep Talking, Grinding Teeth, and Nightmares

Snoring and Sleep Apnea

Safety, Intimacy, and Why Couples Sleep Together

Waking Up in the Morning

Weekends

Everyday Life and the Couple System

Appendix

References

Name Index

Subject Index

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acknowledgments

This book has benefited from conversations with many people. I must not list the names of the people I interviewed, because that would violate our confidentiality agreement, but what they had to say is absolutely central to this book.Among people who provided timely and insightful conversation that was most helpful, I want to especially thank Martha Rueter and Sara Wright. I doubt that I would have carried out this research and written this book if they had not provided supportive and stimulating conversation as I edged up toward beginning the project. I want to thank Wanda Olson and Ira Rosenblatt for helping me to think about the issues. In the academic world in which I work, there have been dozens of people who offered interesting, stimulating, and supportive comments about this project. My thanks to all of them. Finally, I want to thank the people with whom I shared a household as I worked on this project, Sara Wright and Emily Wright-Rosenblatt.This is not the kind of work that could have been done without strong and affirming support from them. So thanks. Thanks to everyone.

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ONE

Introduction

ALMOST EVERYTHING THAT has been published in the social and behavioral sciences and in medicine about adult sleep has looked at adult sleep as an indi- vidual phenomenon.Yet millions of adults sleep with another adult. For them, sleep is a complicated, changing, and often challenging social experience. The events of couple bed sharing are quite remarkable once we learn what couples who share a bed have to say. Based on intensive interviews with adults who share a bed, this book explores the challenges, achievements, routines, pattern- ing, and context of couple sleeping This book is written primarily for researchers and practitioners who focus on couples (for example, family scien- tists, couple therapists, family sociologists, family psychologists, family social workers, family educators, and others who focus on close relationships). I hope that this book will help readers see how shared sleeping is central to couple relationships and that there is much of great value to learn by looking at how couples experience and deal with the wide range of issues connected to cou- ple sleeping.

THE IMPORTANCE OF STUDYING EVERYDAY LIFE

Everyday life should not be taken for granted. It is at the core of what goes on in people’s lives. The termeveryday lifecan be used in ways that are mystifying and ambiguous (Sandywell, 2004). I do not want to claim more by my usage of the term than that I am studying recurring events that people take as ordinary in their own lives. By everyday life I mean the ordinary things (often treated as unremarkable) that happen day in and day out and are so commonplace that they hardly merit attention (Berger, 1997, pp. 20–27, citing Braudel, 1981, and

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